Kay, I'm sorry that this is happening but you've come to the right place for comfort. When my son was ill earlier this year, I was scared to death and my PT friends came to the rescue in full force w/posts and private messages, too, even phone calls. You've been dealt a lot in a very short period of time, so it's only natural that you want to cry and don't hold it in. It's good for you unless you find yourself doing it all the time. Perhaps talk to your dr. and see if you can take something short term to get you through this rough spot. And know that we're all sending up prayers on your and your family's behalf right now. Keep the faythe.