This post is coming straight from my broken heart...

but to tell you the truth I am more happy then sad for Sassy. I am very sad that I have to see her leave me forever, but I know keeping her alive will show all the selfishness I could ever have. I've cried a few times already this past week, but I have to say I am happy for her. She is in so much pain and it breaks my heart even more to see her this way, then to see her lying on the Vet's table dead. She will be happy and healthy again at the Rainbow Bridge playing with all her old doggie friends who have passed on and her new pettalk dog friends, and with her old budgie buddy Sunny as well. I know I will see her again someday and that makes it better. Trust me, my heart is broken. This is so unreal, coming home to nothing when I'm so used to see that wagging tail and shining black eyes, but I can't keep her alive. It would be utter torture. I know I will CRY alot, probably cry myself to sleep tommorow night and the following nights. I will cry at the vet's office. It has really sunken in yet that she is going to the RB, it won't for awhile. But I don't want to be sad anymore, I don't want to have the dreadful feeling and emptiness. I just want to be able to remember her with happiness.

Sadly, the dreadful day is almost upon us.

I am sorry, I know I'm rambling. I now have tears streaming down my face again.

Anyway, I also heard a lyric in a song today that really made me think:

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same" It's so true, especially for my situation right now.