Why can't we all just get along?

[mamaducky]

Yes, those are all certainly good points.

The funny part, however, is that Megan adores both my husband and my 18-year-old daughter -- I'm only sought out when it's feeding time! (Go figure...) In the 5+ months we've had her, her relationship with her "Dad" has been very good.

Though Stephen is distinctly unhappy about the littering accident situation (which has cleared up entirely with the placement of boxes on each floor -- though he doesn't like that either), he's very fond of Meg. He blames Zorro for being mean to her -- but Zorro is such a dyed-in-the-wool mama's boy that it doesn't bother him much if someone else is ticked off at him.

Come to think of it, since Meg is not nuts about Zorro, that might be why she's not so crazy about me either! Lordy, this whole cat psychology thing is more than I can handle on a Friday morning! For now, I'm just stepping forward in faith that I'll be able to find answers to make the situation work out.

Thanks again, all of you, for your help and advice!

[mamaducky]

Hi all,

Well, I just brought Miss Meg back from the vet, and it turned out to be a pretty well-timed visit. Turns out she had a bite that had abscessed over the past couple days, and we were able to get that cleaned out and taken care of. (And yes, I feel absolutely awful that I hadn't noticed it -- but since she rarely lets me pet her at the best of times, I don't get the chance to get up close and "purr-sonal" like I do with the other two.)

Anyway, the vet is going to see her in 2 weeks after she's had her course of antibiotics, and will do blood work to make sure she's not hyperthyroid -- which he says can sometimes cause aggressive behavior. (That would REALLY suck...!)

He sent me home with a can of Feliway aerosol spray, as they were out of diffusers at their office -- and though he told me to spray "prominent objects" in rooms where she hangs out, I'll admit to still being a little confused. I'd LOVE it if you all could give me some pointers on how best to use the Feliway spray.

I kind of feel as though I'm living in a 4-legged soap opera; this is going to get better, right?

[Jessika]

No suggestions other than what has already been posted... just wanted to pop in and say I hope your kitty gets better SOON and also to say... howdy, neighbor! What part of St. Louis are you from?

[mamaducky]

Howdy to you as well!

I'm out here in beautiful Ballwin -- west St. Louis County!

[Jessika]

Howdy to you as well!

I'm out here in beautiful Ballwin -- west St. Louis County!

Oh awesome! I go to school in Westport, currently live in Lake St. Louis (moved back from Branson in December) but grew up in St. Peters! Nice to see someone who knows what I mean when I say those places instead of just giving up and saying St. Louis... hehe.

I frequent the Wentzville dog park, Quail Ridge, a lot

[krazyaboutkatz]

Hi all,

Well, I just brought Miss Meg back from the vet, and it turned out to be a pretty well-timed visit. Turns out she had a bite that had abscessed over the past couple days, and we were able to get that cleaned out and taken care of. (And yes, I feel absolutely awful that I hadn't noticed it -- but since she rarely lets me pet her at the best of times, I don't get the chance to get up close and "purr-sonal" like I do with the other two.)

Anyway, the vet is going to see her in 2 weeks after she's had her course of antibiotics, and will do blood work to make sure she's not hyperthyroid -- which he says can sometimes cause aggressive behavior. (That would REALLY suck...!)

He sent me home with a can of Feliway aerosol spray, as they were out of diffusers at their office -- and though he told me to spray "prominent objects" in rooms where she hangs out, I'll admit to still being a little confused. I'd LOVE it if you all could give me some pointers on how best to use the Feliway spray.

I kind of feel as though I'm living in a 4-legged soap opera; this is going to get better, right?

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that Meg has an abcess but I'm so glad that you brought her to vet where it was caught. So did the vet take a urine sample? If so I guess it was normal and that she didn't have a UTI which is good. Hopefully her thyroid test will be normal as well. I hope that Meg will feel better soon and heal up quickly.

You can buy the Feliway spray and plugins as most pet stores and even online. Use the Feliway spray in the areas where Meg has peed and in areas where she hangs out the most. Hopefully it'll make her feel less stressed out and calmer. Don't spray it near or in or on any of the litterboxes because then your cats won't want to use them.

When I used the spray I would spray my hallway and other areas where the plugins didn't reach in the morning and again at night before I went to bed. My peeing problem mainly occurred at night or in the early morning hours. How's the cat attract litter working? Hopefully you'll soon have a very peaceful house. Good luck and please keep us updated.

[mamaducky]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that Meg has an abcess but I'm so glad that you brought her to vet where it was caught. So did the vet take a urine sample? If so I guess it was normal and that she didn't have a UTI which is good. Hopefully her thyroid test will be normal as well. I hope that Meg will feel better soon and heal up quickly.

The inappropriate peeing and pooping stopped as soon as I put a litter box on the main floor of the house (there had previously been boxes in the basement & second floor, but not the first floor). All three of the cats ADORE the Cat Attract litter -- when I put it into a new box on the second floor, Zorro just got in and rolled around in it! (I'm happy to report that he stopped that once they started using it as an actual litter box -- that would have been weird, even for him!)

Now my big concern is finding a way to end the aggression between Meg and Zorro. The vet did mention using meds for Meg, but only as a last resort. For now, I'm just doing my best to keep them separated -- which should get easier once I'm not at school all day. I've also ordered a Feliway diffuser online, along with the book "Cat Vs Cat".

Think good thoughts for us, won't you?

[cristy]

I'm so glad that the peeing and pooping has stopped!! If you look on here, there are many many people with multiple cats. In our home, we have had rescues in and out for the last 6 or 7 years while Jasper has been here. Sometimes they get along and sometimes they don't, but eventually they have ALL dealt with each other when they realized that "Hissy" fits weren't going to get rid of each other!! Cats are like people, all have different personalities and some just don't ever get along. That said, even if Meg and Zorro never become friends they will eventually just agree to disagree and probably stay away from each other. You might always have some spitting and hissing when paths cross, but as long as the hardcore physical stuff stops...and it will...things will be ok.

[Catty1]

Here's an idea so you don't have to worry about diffusers and all that stuff....

I have one cat who uses Feliway - my vet ok'd it instead of a medication. He was wild his first 2 - 3 years, and even good stress affected his health via a urine infection.

Spraying it in his favourite areas...there were a lot of them. I tried spraying a bit of rag which I would lay beside him - but he would get up and move, of course, and not get the 4 hours exposure.

So - I got a stretchy collar that comes off instantly if he and his brother are playing hard(don't get the breakaway), and I shake the Feliway bottle and squirt a tiny bit into his collar (don't put on fur or skin).

My vet LOVED the Feliway Collar idea and has recommended it to other clients.

Maybe she would let Hubby put a collar on her?

[mamaducky]

What a spiffy idea!

Right now, the Calico Queen is wearing a collar to keep her from licking where the vet cleaned up her abscessed bite, and doesn't seem to mind it much. (BTW, she's obviously feeling a LOT better to have that taken care of, and is significantly less grumpy than she was for the past couple of days, poor baby.) But the fact that this soft collar (more like a poncho -- quite the fashion statement) isn't bugging her says to me that she'd likely do well with a stretchy collar.

Here's something I find interesting: Even though I am not even on Meg's "cuddle time" list -- though she spent a couple of hours on Daddy's lap this evening -- Meg is willing to let me do the "caretaker" stuff, such as cleaning the place where the vet opened up the abscess with peroxide, and holding her still to give her a liquid antibiotic & her pain meds. It's nice to know that she obviously trusts me to take care of her -- it shows me that she knows I love her!

Thanks again to all of you for the good ideas and encouragement. I am NOT giving up on this situation, and I know we'll get through it!

[mamaducky]

Hi friends,

Here's my update on the Meg & Zorro soap opera:

The combination of Feliway and having her "owie" better has made a HUGE difference with Meg. She's significantly happier and more relaxed, and has even started cuddling with me! And as I'd said earlier, the inappropriate peeing/pooping went away as soon as I put a litter box on the first floor of our house. So, in one way, we're a bunch better.

However... Zorro is still not being very nice to Meg. He very rarely (less than once a week) actually initiates a physical altercation with her, and frequently leaves her alone entirely during the day, but he also often "holds her hostage" under the kitchen table. (You all probably know what I'm talking about -- he just lies there nonchalantly on the floor about two feet away from her, acting innocent, while everybody knows he's just waiting for her to come out from under that table...!)

Now, I recently finished the book "Cat vs. Cat", by Pam Johnson-Bennett, and her advice in this situation is to start the introduction process all over again. She also says not to let the "aggressor" have the "prime territory" that he's defending to begin with -- otherwise, his aggressive behavior will be reinforced. Having never had a cat conflict before, it sounds like good advice to me -- especially since I haven't seen Meg on the second floor of our home in quite a while, even though she used to enjoy coming to snuggle with my daughter. I have little doubt that Mr. Zorro has something to do with that...

What this means in my house is that I'm going to have to isolate Zorro from the other cats. He's reeeeallly not going to like it, and I'm going to have immense guilt -- especially since he, of all of them, is "my" cat. Of course, I'm absolutely willing to deal with that if it's going to ultimately make the situation better among them all.

One of my questions at this point is, how will I know when it's OK to let him back out again? When we were introducing Meg, it wasn't particularly hard to keep her in her "safe room" -- wherever it happened to be -- because she didn't really feel the need to be out and about yet in a new environment. With Zorro it'll be another story altogether; he'll be yowling up a storm and pretty hacked off at being stuck in one place, regardless of how much time I spend with him or how pleasant I make it for him.

So, what do you all think? Does it sound like the right solution? Do you have other ideas or things that have worked for you? I'd love some input!

Hugs,
Diana