When you think things can't get much worse-they do. Charles had a pre-trial today and Stephanie got unsupervized visitation. She gets to take him for 4 hours every Saturday. This Saturday she's supposed to show up at 12 so we can teach her how to give him his nebulizer treatement and then bring him back at four and do it herself at our house. Then every other Saturday after that until June 10 (the trial) she gets him at 1 and brings him back at 5. She's already made threats that she was either going to run with him or kill him. What was this judge thinking?! He said he wants to see how she does. Why give her a chance to hurt him? He just handed a child abuser a child. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen to him on one of those visits. This judge was supposed to be a good one, he's supposed to be in it for the kids. And Charles' lawyer didn't even fight this. He AGREED to it. With all the stuff against her, she still gets to have him alone? It doesn't make sense. Nobody is acting like they care, there's no way I can hand over Nathan to her Saturday, but I HAVE to, and in that sense I'm failing Nathan. That judge failed Nathan. She has LIFE INSURANCE on him and that scares me to death. If he dies she gets money, and she loves money. I just can't believe this has happened. I thought there was so much obvious stuff against her that no judge in his right mind would let her have him unsupervized. It could be worse, but I wish it was better.

God, where are you?