I think a fair way to put it MIGHT be that any adult who has had a terrifying past is responsible for getting help when they are an adult, and not use the past as an excuse. Only they as an adult can get the help now and change.

Which, Nicole, I believe you are doing. I hope this 19-year-old does the same thing.

She can't blame anyone else, past of present, for this - it is HER job to fix herself, with any help that is needed.