The problem is that your pup is just not used to guests being over and so reacts in a chaotic frenzy. He is quite simply being overstimulated.

To counter this, practice "getting ready" for guests a couple times a day. Set the plates, tidy up the house, etc. As soon as you see him noticing or getting riled up, however, sit back down. Ignore him. Let him stare at the door. The minute he starts to calm down and go back to his bed, toss him a bone and start your "getting ready" routine again. If he starts getting excited, take away the bone, sit down, and let him get bored. As soon as he calms down again, give the bone back and do your "getting ready" routine again. Eventually, you can get ready in peace and your dog will associate your "getting ready" routine with being calm and chewing on a bone.

The same thing goes for the doorbell ringing. If that excites him, have a friend ring the door bell. Let him bark. Let him stare. Eventually, he'll get bored. You can then distract them and give him a bone to chew on. At that point, have your friend ring the bell again. Let him bark and stare and then get bored. Repeat the activity. Eventually, he'll bark a few times, but he will easily reorient back towards you. Eventually, you can work your way up to bringing the guests inside, etc. etc.

Good luck! It's all about teaching self control MENTALLY instead of physically (btw, I'm not a huge fan of head halters, but if your wife needs it to feel in control, by all means use it. I recommend trying to achieve this mentally, first )