Whatever you have as a calendar marking the days, tear it up and get on with your own life.

It seems like you determine your life by what men or boys are in it or not in it - or the drama that goes on with them. (They aren't writing the script - you are).

Obsession isn't love - it's just obsession. And obsessing over males won't replace your dad...it won't fix it or make you 'win.'

Find a group, a counsellor, a way to build yourself up. Some people lose their dads, moms, both when they are a baby, or 5 years old. And some people drive themselves crazy to replace what they never had. And it makes them sick and doesn't work.

Given what you have said about your mom, please call or look up Al-Anon on the internet.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/pdf/S20.pdf

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/alateen.html

And check this link out - even before you look at the others.

http://www.kidsturncentral.com/topic...es/divorce.htm