It is heartbreaking, truly heartbreaking. I hope that at some time, in the months to come, you can take comfort in the fact that for her (not you, I understand that) this was the best way to go. Ginger was happy, healthy, and had a very good time with you and her fursibs during her last hours. She died with her head resting peacefully on the feet of the person she loved the most. It sounds like the best way for her to leave this world, totally happy and loved. The pain of not having the chance to say goodbye, is sharp, and I am so sorry that you have to go through that pain. More hugs are headed your way.