Dear Stephenie Meyer,
I love your books, but I hate them too. I can't stop reading them, but anyone can see the disgust on my face at the countless times you infer than animals are lowly beings, something which a human spirit can move in and push out. And the line, "Bag a few mountain lions for me." now that one just hit a nerve! I'll have you know my first ever story was written in third grade and it was about a young cougar and his family.
You will be getting an interrogative yet friendly email soon.
And I mean, come on. Poor Jake.

Love from an annoyed fan

p.s. I'm knitting a Jacob cupcake and an Edward cupcake, I'll send you pictures when I'm done.