I'm wondering if you have a torn rotater cuff which if that is the case surgery is in order. And Hubby is going to have to buck up and GROW up.
If not - you will need to go stay with someone who CAN take care of you after surgery b/c RC surgery isn't something to joke about.
I agree with Medusa. You teach people how to treat you and if you decided you are only worth how he treats you he of course is going to agree.
Maybe you should go stay somewhere for a few days and let him see what its like without you!