I am so sorry, Bunny. After my mom passed away last year, the worst time I had was because I felt so guilty. She was in a nursing home the last weeks - a very good one and they were all very very nice with her- the care was much better than anything I could have done- but still..........
And then on top of all that your hand. A carpal tunnel syndrome can be fixed by surgery rather easily if all else doesn't help. My dad had it on both hands and I also know a lady (a cello player) who had it- and did very well.
But of course you don't need it right now.
It is ok to be a little egoistic- and yes, if it helps to yell here, than go for it

And if you have some time, give us some new pics of the kitties