Get Well Wishes for Robin (RobiLee)

[Lobodeb]

Oh, Robin. I don't have anything to say that will take your pain away, or that will solve your problems but it's not for lack of want, that's for darn sure.

I don't know if you remember this, but my father and uncle both committed suicide within 2 years of each other. I am, to this day still going to therapy trying to cope with their deaths. I can totally understand that you're in pain, both physically and mentally, but it will get better. Please let your medication kick in. It seems terribly cruel that it takes so long for you to feel better, but you will. I know it's hard to think of your family when your hurting the way you are, but they love you. If you were to hurt yourself permanently (I don't want to use the "s" word again), your family would be devastated. And that's putting it lightly. They love you and only want to see you get well.

Secondly, again, easier said than done, but try not to react out of emotion. When you work yourself into a rage (which I'm sure we all do), try not to act on it. Count to 100, take deep breaths, hug the doggies, etc., just to get your mind off the rage for the moment. If you still feel the need to act after all that, then at least you know that you are either more calm, or at least thinking more clearly. I know I'm terribly emotional and can say/do very stupid things when I don't stop and think first.

I'm no therapist, by any stretch of the imagination. I am just a survivor of what my father and uncle have left us to deal with. It hurts and it hurts bad. Please take GOOD care of yourself. Vent here as often as you need to. You know we're here for you!

[luvofallhorses]

((((HUGS))))) Robin, I truly hope things start looking up for you soon and they will - I promise. hang in there - we love you.

[RobiLee]

I SLEPT!!

I fell asleep right before Brandon left and I just woke up a little bit ago. I feel as if I could go right back to sleep also. I still have a killer headache. I have an appt. with my lawyer today at 3:15. I hope it goes well but I'm not looking for much to happen.

I also want to add that my family loves me and are trying very hard to help me. They may not always do the right thing but my therapist told me yesterday that it is very hard to know what to do and how to deal with a loved one that is suffering so deeply and is dealing with a mental illness. I also want to let you all know that I have not been the easiest person to be around. I am full of rage and it manifests itself in such an awful way. In the past 1 1/2 years I have not been able to get angry and my therapist seems to think that it is coming out in a big way now. Not exactly in a positive way either.

I have lots of people who love me and want to see me win this battle. When my son left he gave me a huge hug and begged me to fight hard and to get better. He told me to do it for him because he wants his mother back.

This is not an easy thing for me. I am trying so hard to hang on each and every day. I have so many people who care about me. I read through this thread every day so that I can remind myself that people care about me. I also know that I want to stay around for my parents, my son, my best friend Anna (definitely want to prove that girl wrong and let her know that I'm not ever going to leave her ) and my wonderful friends Norma and Linda. You guys have been so great to check in every day and let me know that you are thinking of me. It is hard to find the strength to not give in each day.

When Brandon hugged me before he left we were both wishing that our family could somehow come back together. It is just as hard on him as it is for me. I wish that asshole knew the pain that he has caused for both me and his son. He is selfish though and doesn't care about us. That is something that I have to learn and give up on.

Thanks for letting me ramble on again. Thanks for all the support. I think I will try to catch a few more winks of sleep.

{{{HUGS}}}