It's so hard to explain responsibility to animals to a family member. My sister-in-law is a hoarder, and the first thing I do when I go up to my brother's house for Christmas is bring the ferret & bunnies a drink of water because their bottles are dry. I've told my brother again and again (he's better about considering animals individuals rather than accessories) but I hit the nag point early on and was labeled "animal nut" and my words written off as hippie fertilizer, and if I persist, I'll be shut off, accomplishing nothing and losing contact with my only local family.

It's not even something that's easy to bring up here, because each family is different, it's the hearer and not the talker who defines the nag point, and it's usually pretty soon, because most hoarders know at some level that they're doing wrong.

All anyone can do is their best, and only you know your family. And if you're overwhelmed with advice that you've already tried or that wouldn't work at all with your family, it DOESN'T necessarily mean that people think you're a moron or that you're not trying. They're just as frustrated as you are, and wish they could help somewhere - and vicarious is always easier!

Love, Columbine