Kim, I am so sorry to hear about your brother.

Addiction runs in my family and others - and I keep hearing how addiction is a progressive illness - even if one is sober (for example) for many years, if one has a drink, you are back as bad as ever, and actually where you would have been if you HADN'T stopped.

We lost a young fellow here, about 22 years old, Dec 17 2006...he had had some sobriety, his parents trusted him at home alone again, he was working! I don't know if he stopped going to recovery meetings, or what happened - but he started again, and where he was healthy in the spring, he died in his family's arms a year ago.

I saw him in October...he came to a meeting just before it closed, a long IV line hanging out of his arm, he was sick, he stand, he was drunk - one of our ladies gave him a big big hug, and the guys - the men here are amazing - they all took him out for coffee and to talk to him. He asked me to go - and I said if he was back the next week, I would go with him. He agreed with a smile.

That was the last time I saw him.

It's a tough balance, Kim, I know...the first of the 12 steps means we are powerless over people, places and things.

And it's not only drugs and alcohol...there is a PTr missing right now, and she might well be dead. But she had to hit her own bottom, and though several of us tried everything, in the end, we can only hope she bounces back up.

Some don't.

Prayer is more powerful than anything we can do, sometimes.

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On a lighter note - You know you're codependent WHEN
- you're dying and someone else's life flashes before your eyes.


{{{{hugs}}}}