I want your opinions, please :)

[Rachel]

*And then she said she didn't ever think there would ever be anyone that she woulld totally approve of for me*

By this statement I think your mom was in effect letting you know that her opinions may be tainted by a mother's wanting the best of the best for her daughter and that you have to take that into consideration when you evaluate her input.

Personally I believe you are certainly of an age where you can make your own decisions about who to get to know a bit better. That doesn't mean you should ignore the opinions of others, especially your parents. Simply put them into the mix with your own observations and gut reactions. As an adult you will be making many choices in life and it is unavoidable for there to be mistakes along the way. But as you begin that process you will learn to trust your own judgement and from that comes confidence.

Hopefully your mother will encourage you to spred your wings and fly into the world of work and relationships outside the scope of the immediate family. Her wanting to have you wait to get a job until after the move sounds reasonable, but if there are other efforts to delay the process of your moving on with your life, you may need to have a really serious conversation with her about what you expect from your future and how she can be more helpful to your emotional and social growth. Good luck.

[joycenalex]

i think the english phrase of growing up into adulthood sometimes should be growing apart from childhood. from your post, it seems that you've had the advantage of a close and loving family relationship, as your mother has had the great advantage of having you there as she has raised another young child. at somepoint, and soon, you need to/have to to become a full adult and that will mean to move outside of the immediate family circle before it becomes a noose around both of your necks. you have to meet other women, men and make friends, mistakes, and have a life that doesn't revolve first around your family. and it's totally normal and understandable that she's freaked out over the idea that you're interested in a guy. do you have girlfriends? try to discuss him with them, i know and understand that your mom has been your first confidant for along time, but in this and for the need of healthy seperation for both of you, she should be a secondary confidant. if you don't have girlfriends, it's time to start making them. there are things that a 19/20 yr old woman can tell you that your mom can't.
it's gonna be hard for your mom when this happens; does she have female friends? does she have intrests and contacts outside of your family that she spends time with like churchfriends and other parents of your now middle school niece? in some ways she's gonna have to grow apart too as you mature into full adulthood, and it's not your need at this time to be your moms' closest friend.
i think rachel is right, a full time job after the move is reasonable, but maybe start the process of getting a resume together, are you in community college? the student office can help with that. good luck and best wishes, for both of you in the next scary and exciting stages of your growing