Prayers for hubby - PLEASE!!

**caseysmom** · 10-30-2007, 11:32 PM

Kim, You have been so good to your step daughter through her pregnancy and childbirth I admired how you stepped up to the plate, I shiver to think what my husband would have done and admired your husband for his big heart...too bad they don't appreciate what they have in him and you.

**mina'smomma** · 10-31-2007, 03:01 PM

Ok Kim,

I wasn't going to say this, but I think you should hear it. I know what it is like to come from a broken family. My parents divorced when I was 2 and my father was in the military until I was 14. The lady he married after my mom was very abusive towards me and my older brother, and then he hasn't had much interest in me until I told him I was pregnant other than when I got married. My step-mom that he is married to now. (He divorced the other one when he got out of the service) is a wonderful lady.

My point is I hear how Grant keeps trying to be a part of his kids life and how you try to do everything for them and I get so upset because of the way the two older ones treat you two. I wish my father had even taken half the effort Grant has to be a part of my life as well as my older brother's. (Maybe then he wouldn't of been in so much trouble.)

Those kids need to grow up and Grant needs to bounce his foot off the floor and in their butts. If things keep getting worse Catty 1 is right everyone could lose Cam, and I know that would break yours and Grant's heart.

You both and the baby are in my prayers and thoughts.

**NoahsMommy** · 10-31-2007, 03:20 PM

Whoa!!! Um...it seems like the "drama crowd" will attack any thread, huh??

Kim, I'm really sorry Grant is having to deal with these health problems...which are seemingly caused by his problems at home.

From where I sit, you figure out how to get rid of the cause and then you have your cure/solution. BP is not very hard to treat/monitor if you do your part.

Kim, you married into this family - kinda got the pre-made deal - and I know you've done your best to try and maintain some peace and balance...but without their father stepping up and being a MAN this cycle will not end. Will it take poor little Cam getting taken away from his "child" mother?

I wont even go into what would happen to me in any of the situations you've discussed today, or prior. While I know as the step-mom, you don't have a whole lot of power over the "kids" when the dad isn't respecting your positions or holding you up to the same light as an equal authoratarian.

This problems seems to begin and end with the same person: Grant

Prayers going out that you are comforted, Grant will get better and that Gods will will be done for the family. He wont steer them wrong - it may be HARD, but not wrong.

Hugs, Kelly xoxoxoxoxo

**lizbud** · 10-31-2007, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by NoahsMommy

Whoa!!! Um...it seems like the "drama crowd" will attack any thread, huh??

What does that mean? I though most people posted from the heart.

**Catty1** · 10-31-2007, 07:16 PM

Well, having your stepdaughter bash you in the face and break your glasses IS drama.

I agree with Kelly that the solution lies with Grant alone. Only when he changes behaviour will anything else change.

As you requested, Kim - prayers for Grant.

**shais_mom** · 11-03-2007, 07:14 PM

Originally Posted by lizbud

What does that mean? I though most people posted from the heart.

I think she means the person that first attacked Kim was one that draws a lot of drama to ferself... but I could be wrong..

**cassiesmom** · 10-31-2007, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by gini

I have the strongest feeling that if something isn't done to break this cycle of behavior - EVERYONE is going to suffer - more than they already are suffering.

I was thinking the same thing. This is a very hard situation. I'll keep praying. (((HUG)))

**sasvermont** · 10-31-2007, 07:39 PM

I bet there are counsellors out there that would be able to give you all some help. You are not the only family having problems - I am sure. You may have reached a very dangerous level though, and it is time to admit how out of control it is for you all. Poor Cam is really at risk. I am sure you don't want Cam to suffer for these mistakes, bad decisions and horrible behavior.

I wish you strength and conviction. You guys can get through this.

Poor excuses are too expensive at this point. Your hubby's health, your health, Cam's well being......everyone is going to suffer unless it gets fixed.

It will probably be the biggest challenge in your life, so far. Lots of lives are at stake.

**catnapper** · 10-31-2007, 09:52 PM

First, I want to thank everyone for their sincere concern. Really... this is why I love PT so much.

Second, things are almost surreal around here. Getting hit in the face? Oh my.... it was an unusual set of circumstances. You see, my knee-jerk reaction was to swing back with what I was holding at the time. I wish it was something a little different than a plastic bag full of dirty litter.

. Yup, I had just changed litter boxes when the fight erupted. I was walking through the living room when the "child" and hubby were arguing and told them they knew dad was right (my mistake) when I got hit. I swung back with the bags..... poop and cat biscuits and foul litter came raining down the the three of us. Lets just say my living room smelled a bit funky for a few weeks.

Go ahead, laugh. I'm laughing right now typing this... you have admit it IS a bit funny in a really weird way. I am absolutely certain they won't EVER try to swing at me (or anyone else for that matter) again because they know a few things WILL happen: they will get slugged back, there will be police charges brought against them, and they will be thrown out of the house for more than a few days before allowed to return.

Hubby knows all is not well. He admits it and admits he has to stand up. Our youngest was telling him the SAME THING you are all telling me -- I told him "out of the mouth of babes" and he admitted to her she's right. He KNOWS all this. I think that at least now he's realizing the problem, he needs to figure out HOW to fix it.

As for Cam's safety, please don't worry. We moved all the kids to the third floor and he has no access to it. We moved him down the hall next to our room. We realize we're now raising him, and thats ok because he's getting the support, attention, and love he needs. He's one happy, intelligent, sweet little boy

I also have been having major internet issues. I have to call the company again tomorrow -- they're trying to say its my computer and not their service

So please, anyone who PMed me, I am not being rude by not answering... I simply CAN'T right now. I can't tell you how many tries it took for this post to go through.

**Catty1** · 10-31-2007, 10:26 PM

he needs to figure out HOW to fix it.

Good to hear from you Kim. Regarding the above, Grant should ask his doctor. Anyone who is used to behaving a certain way for a long time - well, IMO, changing that is an inside job, and not a do-it-yourself task.

Grant's doc knows him, and might have a good idea for a referral.

I am just thinking suggest something like this to Grant, and let him take action with his doc. Ball is totally in his court.

hugs!