If you dine out, you should read this...

[Cataholic]

Tips are optional. Anyone that thinks they "deserve" a tip is probably not in the right industry.

I might not eat out as much as I used to, since Jonah, but, I have to stretch my mind far and wide to think of a time I was given such service to justify a 18% tip.

Let me share a few of my own opinions:

1) You might not like it, but, my son is part of MY dining experience. Treat him respectfully, and chances are good your tips will increase. Putting a hot pizza plate within his grasp is probably not the brightest thing you could do. And, same goes for knives, full glasses of anything not specifically ordered for him. Giving him crayons that look like they lived under the table for the last 6 months is just plain gross. If you can't afford crayons, or choose not to display crayons (which is totally fine by me, as I bring my own 'supplies'), fine. But, don't hand my son- at the dining table- something gross. He might be young and uneducated, but, his momma ain't.

2) I am not your associate server. Sure, I am nice, and helpful, but, I don't want to pass out your plates, go get my own napkins, silverware, or remind you who had what.

3) When I want to order my meal when you want to only take a drink order- note that I am here to be served, not to accomodate your wishes. I don't need 20 minutes to make a meal decision. Maybe others do, and that is fine- for them. It doesn't work for me- the CUSTOMER.

4) Wiping down a table with a bar towel, so that the crap falls unto the seats is gross. Not sanitary, shows a real lack of respect for the next diner, and did I mention is not sanitary?

5) If I ask you to please box up the left overs- do it. Don't just bring me the box. Does your "service" end with the delivery of the meal? Okay, then, my tipping will reflect that as well.

6) I am paying, presumably, for a dining experience. If I want to linger over my coffee, and pie, let me. I didn't rent a booth for a set amount of time, and, while you might be making an hourly wage, that can't be my concern.

[Miss Z]

Tips are optional. Anyone that thinks they "deserve" a tip is probably not in the right industry.

I might not eat out as much as I used to, since Jonah, but, I have to stretch my mind far and wide to think of a time I was given such service to justify a 18% tip.

Let me share a few of my own opinions:

1) You might not like it, but, my son is part of MY dining experience. Treat him respectfully, and chances are good your tips will increase. Putting a hot pizza plate within his grasp is probably not the brightest thing you could do. And, same goes for knives, full glasses of anything not specifically ordered for him. Giving him crayons that look like they lived under the table for the last 6 months is just plain gross. If you can't afford crayons, or choose not to display crayons (which is totally fine by me, as I bring my own 'supplies'), fine. But, don't hand my son- at the dining table- something gross. He might be young and uneducated, but, his momma ain't.

2) I am not your associate server. Sure, I am nice, and helpful, but, I don't want to pass out your plates, go get my own napkins, silverware, or remind you who had what.

3) When I want to order my meal when you want to only take a drink order- note that I am here to be served, not to accomodate your wishes. I don't need 20 minutes to make a meal decision. Maybe others do, and that is fine- for them. It doesn't work for me- the CUSTOMER.

4) Wiping down a table with a bar towel, so that the crap falls unto the seats is gross. Not sanitary, shows a real lack of respect for the next diner, and did I mention is not sanitary?

5) If I ask you to please box up the left overs- do it. Don't just bring me the box. Does your "service" end with the delivery of the meal? Okay, then, my tipping will reflect that as well.

6) I am paying, presumably, for a dining experience. If I want to linger over my coffee, and pie, let me. I didn't rent a booth for a set amount of time, and, while you might be making an hourly wage, that can't be my concern.

I agree whole-heartedly, couldn't have said it better myself.

I was a little shocked to read the last section in which teenagers are scolded if they don't tip. I must say if I was dining with my parents and was asked to tip myself, I would be horrified, as I'm sure my parents would be. Funnily enough, I need my money too, and I don't hand it over to any Tom, Dick or Harry who reckons they've earned it.

We only ever tip if the waiter/ess in question has gone out of his/her way to provide us with excellent service. That doesn't just mean service with a smile or some free bread rolls. That means an actual effort at light-hearted conversation, a willingness to explain the dishes and professional service skills. That can sound a bit harsh, but the world of business is cut-throat. You work as hard as you can and you'll be rewarded, I've always believed in that.

Plus, I believe tipping is mostly linked with culture. Tipping, here in Britain, is relatively uncommon and in certain circumstances is frowned upon as a piteous gesture. The only time we ever really tip is when on holiday, as most southern European resorts are accustommed to receiving tips.

[RICHARD]

It's pretty funny to see what people expect when they go out to eat.

I HAVE YET TO MEET A SERVER THAT READS MINDS!

1) I have a few funny faces for a kid draped over the chairback.
after that let me eat in peace

2) You can't box your own food? I have seen people box only what they want and leave other things.

3) I don't want to wait 20 minutes while you make up a menu for your child.
"Can I have the kid's plate? Chicken Fingers is nice, what kind of sauce do you have for them....Ah, can I substitute the cherry tomatoes for carrots.
What do you want to drink, honey? No, no pepsi........" "WAAAAAAAAA, I want pepsi!" Order for the kid and get on with life.

My parents didn't put up with that kind of shiat. We are going out, order - do not be picky and start making stupid requests.

The same goes with effing adults. I used to do the burger run for my office.
I want grilled onions, no onions, no sauce, extra pickle.....No, Eff you-you stand at the counter and give a Super Sized order -tailored to 10 people individual needs.

Push the offending matter aside or don't ask me to waste my time accomodating your wimpy arsed foibles.


3. Don't put the kid into a booth and expect him to stay clean. And when YOUR KID sits in the high chair and makes a mess have a little bit of sense and clean up after them. Laugh at me again but when dining with children I make it a habit to police the area after them.

Watching a kid flip a plate onto the floor and sitting there smiling doesn't quite cut it with me.

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And one of the stupidest, most crass phenomenoms I have seen is the applause AFTER some server drops and breaks a platter, dish or glass.

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Hey anna,


Where would you wear the hairnet anyway?

[anna_66]

It's pretty funny to see what people expect when they go out to eat.

I HAVE YET TO MEET A SERVER THAT READS MINDS!

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Hey anna,


Where would you wear the hairnet anyway?

Bravo Richard!

Hmmm I won't say where I'd wear it

[RICHARD]

Bravo Richard!

Hmmm I won't say where I'd wear it

One guess is enough.

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My strong reactions to people who "do" the public are based on my mom working as a cashier for 30 years and my doing surgery scheduling.

If the customer is always right, the world is screwed.

[Cataholic]

How funny. You, as a server, have the 'right' to post your opinions, but, others do not? I thought your post was incredibly insulting. It made me think that I would not want to be waited on you, as you would 'expect' something that wasn't required.

I work in the service industry. All day long. I wouldn't dictate to others how they 'must' treat me. They are paying me for a service, and, I deliver. I would LOVE to charge double for a rush job, working after 7 pm, or on the weekend. Love to. But, that isn't how it is done. If someone likes the quality of my work, they return. If not, they go somewhere else. The customer, or client, or patient, however you want to term it, leads the way.

It is all about the service. Want a tip? Do a good job. Don't care about tips? Then, neither of us will be disappointed.

And, in the future, you might want to reconsider taking some poster's comments so personal. You already said it wasn't 'your' post, just something you were passing along. I was speaking in the general sense when I said you (as in, you, the server-unnamed) should be in a different profession. Even still, I wouldn't care a rat's butt if you thought I should be a lawyer or not. That is kind of silly, isn't it?

[caseysmom]

Just from my experience with Anna on pettalk I would LOVE to have her as my server.

Cataholic...Lawyers don't charge for night or rush work?

[Ginger's Mom]

I work in the service industry. All day long. I wouldn't dictate to others how they 'must' treat me. They are paying me for a service, and, I deliver. I would LOVE to charge double for a rush job, working after 7 pm, or on the weekend. Love to. But, that isn't how it is done. If someone likes the quality of my work, they return. If not, they go somewhere else. The customer, or client, or patient, however you want to term it, leads the way.

I don't think this analogy works for a number of reasons. First, it is common practice for attorneys (at least in NJ) to charge 1 1/2 times their normal fee for anything that is going to take them extra effort; be that working weekends, driving to another county, etc.; it is "how it is done." Secondly, in your field the customer, client, patient isn't as likely to "lead the way," because they have come to you for a certain expertise they believe you have that they do not possess. Agreed they can always express disappointment at the outcome and/or your efforts, but there is a certain deference to you that is not given to a server. And lastly, you may have the luxury of saying if they are not happy with the service they don't have to come back, the server doesn't have that luxury because the restaurant owner is not going to keep a server that sends customers away unhappy. The comparison is like that of oranges to ummm...clementines (maybe not as different as apples but not placed in the same bin).

[anna_66]

How funny. You, as a server, have the 'right' to post your opinions, but, others do not? I thought your post was incredibly insulting. It made me think that I would not want to be waited on you, as you would 'expect' something that wasn't required.

Not funny at all. Others can post whatever they like and have, including you. I won't say I'm sorry you were insulted because I also thought your post was insulting and down right rude.
And if you wouldn't want to be waited on by me that's fine, it doesn't hurt my feelings. And no, I wouldn't 'expect' a thing from you. You'd just be missing out on a great dining experience with me
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I'd just like to share something that happened to me last night.

I had two tables both who's bill were both $60. One said everything was great and left me $5, the other who didn't say a thing and asked to see the manager while I cashed their check out.
I had no idea what the problem was but found out that they wanted to rave about their service. Needless to say this made me feel very good. Not only that, but they left me $17
I didn't do anything different to the table that left me $5 than I did to the one that left me $17.

I think people leave however much they want and I don't think that will ever change.
So please don't feel I'm telling you how much to leave. That's not what my post was about.
It's like cyber-sibes said:
When I read this opening post, what I hear is a very frustrated wait person venting.
That's exactly what it is and nothing more.
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OK, I think you are being way to dramatic with that. Servers don't go out of their way, they do their job. Smiling and giving the customer what they want, IMO, is just doing their job.

Yes, maybe I was but I felt as if people in my profession were being attacked.
You have no idea how much us as servers go out of our way to make guests happy.

Just recently I had a man ask me to cut up his salad for him, a lady who asked me to take her lobster out of the shell and then there was another guest who asked me to shell her crab legs for her.
I've run boxes out of the restaurant to guests that have left them sitting on the table along with credit cards, hats and other things.


I'd like to thank you all for your imput on this thread. It makes me understand why people tip the way they do

[Ginger's Mom]

I am very surprised as some of the comments in this post. I will stand by my objection to being told how much I should tip. However, in the US tipping is a standard and expected part of dining out. Saying I don't have enough money to tip doesn't make sense to me. That would be like buying a car, but not having enough money to pay the tax, and being offended that the State thought they deserved it. Restaurants pay their servers poorly based on the fact that they are paid by the people they serve, who are better able to determine the worth of their service. That savings is then passed on the the public in the form of lower prices. I think that the system should be changed and that restaurants should charge more and pay their employees based upon their observance of their employees performance. If a customer has a problem with their server they have the same remedy as in any other business they can complain to the manager. You don't have to hold a tip over the servers head like a carrot (that is degrading). And as I attempted to say in the other thread, it is impossible to please everyone, no matter how "nice" you are. Do away with tipping, and respect yourself, the servers and those sitting around you when you go to a restaurant.

[cassiesmom]

Wiping down a table with a bar towel, so that the crap falls unto the seats is gross. Not sanitary, shows a real lack of respect for the next diner, and did I mention is not sanitary?

That's something I'd prefer to speak to the manager or the maitre d' (sp?) about, rather than letting it be reflected in the tip. What scares me about that is - where has that bar towel been before it was used to wipe down my table? and some buspersons only give the table a cursory wipe with the towel when the tables need to be re-set quickly. But, again, that is not something I'm going to reflect when I'm readying the check. I'm with Richard - tip, and tip big (because I know other people don't).

[anna_66]

Anyone that thinks they "deserve" a tip is probably not in the right industry.

I'm sorry, but please don't tell me I'm in the wrong industry. Maybe I don't think you need to be a lawyer, but I'd never be so rude as to say that.

while you might be making an hourly wage, that can't be my concern.

Can't be your concern???
What this all sounds like to me is that your really don't give a sh*t about the person who is going out of their way to make sure you have a good meal. Sorry but I wouldn't want to wait on you.

For those of your who don't feel you should tip...don't. I've waited on and still wait on people who come in often and don't tip.
If you want to leave 10% do that, tip whatever you want. I'm not here to tell you how much to tip.

And as I said in my last post I treat all my guests the same whether they tip or not. Needless to say not all servers feel the same though.

[caseysmom]

Here in california servers are taxed on tips whether they get them or not...keep that in mind.

My husband put himself through college waiting on tables, he even served liberache...talk about a tipper.