Nathan 2

[Catty1]

You know, I haven't ever been a parent, though I have dealt with kids - I mean, they are people I also talk to!
However, I have read a few times over the years that even if a child has a terrible homelife (which Nathan has a great one with you), ONE great adult can make a difference - another relative, a teacher, any close adult.

Nathan has had to be near his mom a few times, I know...but his home is with YOU, and he has Daddy and all the rest of you.

LOVE and his knowing he is SAFE will do a lot - actually, I think it will save him from any real damage from his biological mom.

[sumbirdy]

You know, I haven't ever been a parent, though I have dealt with kids - I mean, they are people I also talk to!
However, I have read a few times over the years that even if a child has a terrible homelife (which Nathan has a great one with you), ONE great adult can make a difference - another relative, a teacher, any close adult.

Nathan has had to be near his mom a few times, I know...but his home is with YOU, and he has Daddy and all the rest of you.

LOVE and his knowing he is SAFE will do a lot - actually, I think it will save him from any real damage from his biological mom.

I really hope so.

I would add pics, but photobucket won't let me edit them, and it won't let me attach them here.

[sumbirdy]

Nathan and Uno. This has got to be one of my favorite pictures.

Checking Uno's teeth. Nathan is obsessed with teeth (human or animal) and will examine anyone's teeth who will let him. Uno puts up with everything from Nathan (they are best pals) so of course, he's fair game!

[sumbirdy]

When you think things can't get much worse-they do. Charles had a pre-trial today and Stephanie got unsupervized visitation. She gets to take him for 4 hours every Saturday. This Saturday she's supposed to show up at 12 so we can teach her how to give him his nebulizer treatement and then bring him back at four and do it herself at our house. Then every other Saturday after that until June 10 (the trial) she gets him at 1 and brings him back at 5. She's already made threats that she was either going to run with him or kill him. What was this judge thinking?! He said he wants to see how she does. Why give her a chance to hurt him? He just handed a child abuser a child. I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen to him on one of those visits. This judge was supposed to be a good one, he's supposed to be in it for the kids. And Charles' lawyer didn't even fight this. He AGREED to it. With all the stuff against her, she still gets to have him alone? It doesn't make sense. Nobody is acting like they care, there's no way I can hand over Nathan to her Saturday, but I HAVE to, and in that sense I'm failing Nathan. That judge failed Nathan. She has LIFE INSURANCE on him and that scares me to death. If he dies she gets money, and she loves money. I just can't believe this has happened. I thought there was so much obvious stuff against her that no judge in his right mind would let her have him unsupervized. It could be worse, but I wish it was better.

God, where are you?

[sumbirdy]

Charles went to the mediation today. He said he was intimidated by Stephanie at first because she was calm when she walked in. The mediator asked them what they wanted and Stephanie started by saying she wants Charles to pay for her rent, she said he was still on the lease (they checked that out and he hasn't been on it since October) She wants him to pay for her phone bill (he's never used it) her credit cards (also, he never used) and at the end of this list came Nathan. She wants him for 3 nights and two days of the week. Which means Charles would get him more. Usually when people are fighting for their kids they want them MORE or the same amount as the other person. She also wants child support (which wouldn't make sense since Charles would have him more). Then it was Charles' turn to say what he wanted. He said first of all he wants full custody of his son, he doesn't care about other things, and he wants the divorce. He'll settle for Stephanie having SUPERVISED visitation but nothing more. (She said nothing when he said this) He said then that she was violent and tried to kill her mother (She said that was in the past and she's not like that anymore )Then he said he wasn't going to pay her bills and she totally blew up. (Really proved Charles' point didn't it?) Charles said she was really loud and rude and kept going on an on about stuff that didn't make sense. She also made a very stupid mistake. The judge told the lawyers that he himself told Stephanie the date of the first hearing (the one she didn't show to) but in the mediation she lied and said the he didn't and she didn't know about it. THEN about two minutes later said she couldn't go to court because her boss wouldn't let her (what boss won't let someone go to court?) The mediator tried to tell her to stop talking because she interupted Charles but she kept going on and on. Everytime Charles tried to say something she would go off again. Charles said she looked like she could beat someone up. So she kept going on about stuff like she has a job and didn't know if Charles did (which he does) and she has a whole closet full of stuff for Nathan at her house (whoop-de-doo! we have a whole house full of stuff! You can't even walk through our house without tripping over stuff of his. And he's never saw the stuff she's apparantly got him.) So after this she finally stopped and said she was out of there. The mediator asked if she wanted to work things out, she said no. And then she stormed off turned around and said something along the lines of "I was going to let your parents be a part of his life, but not anymore! If you want a fight Charles, then I'll give you a fight!" (I really don't think she has much of a chance.) The mediator said that that was...umm...interesting and said she had to go file a report to the judge.

The session was scheduled for three hours...they were in there for twenty minutes.

[Catty1]

Okay, not only is she digging herself in...she just managed to dig herself a personal Grand Canyon!

Good for Charles for saying his bit clear and to the point.

I wonder if she'll get court-ordered psych assessment...for about, say, 5 years?

What a pathetic, miserable and unhappy woman! It would be great if there were any hope for her - but treatment would have to be enforced by law for the first two years, at least.

Prayers for you and your family and Nathan - this is obviously going to work out, but it will take a little more time.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[sumbirdy]

Okay, not only is she digging herself in...she just managed to dig herself a personal Grand Canyon!

Good for Charles for saying his bit clear and to the point.

I wonder if she'll get court-ordered psych assessment...for about, say, 5 years?

What a pathetic, miserable and unhappy woman! It would be great if there were any hope for her - but treatment would have to be enforced by law for the first two years, at least.

Prayers for you and your family and Nathan - this is obviously going to work out, but it will take a little more time.

{{{{hugs}}}}

I do hope she gets some help, but knowing her personally, I know she's beyond it. Everything she does has always been about money. Obviously it still is. She also said that after Charles pays off all her bills she wants him to start paying half of everything. She trips over her own lies as well. It's really pathetic. And I don't think I've met anyone quite as stupid. When Charles said he'd settle for supervised visits, the mediator asked where they would be and Charles suggested a park. So Stephanie said "What are we supposed to sleep at the park?!" Who the heck said anything about overnight supervised visits? I don't even think there's such thing.

[sumbirdy]

Stephanie has obviously got some screws loose. (or as Charles' lawyer says, she's a wacko) Mom asked what she was going to do about visitation (you know, casually, just to see what she would say.) So Stephanie said that she and a friend were going to come get him on Wednesday nights and take him to another state where her friend lives, and that her friend would supervize! Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't it be better for someone who is NOT a friend to supervize you? Friends tend to not say all that happened for you. And there's no way in heck she's taking him out of state! (According to her, her lawyer said this would be okay.) And then she turned around and started talking about weekend visitation. (?!) According to Charles' lawyer she has agreed to supervized visits, but she wants overnight. We just need to agree on someone to do it. Stephanie doesn't seem to care that going somewhere else for the night with people he doesn't even know would hurt him. Nathan's very sensitive. Plus, Nathan has a very exact bedtime routine, and there is only certain people he includes in it. If one person is not included in it, or if it is not EXACTLY how he is used to it being, he will cry and cry and won't go to sleep. Plus in the middle of the night he wakes up wanting to sleep with a CERTAIN person and no one else will do. (It's usually me, but sometimes he switches it around to where he wants Charles or Grandma or Pa Pa) Wonder how she would handle that? I don't think it would go over well. Mom suggested to Charles' lawyer that if this is what HAD to be done then Stephanie could come over every other Saturday night. That way Nathan is in his own environment and we know he's safe. I can gurantee I won't be sleeping.

They had a court date March 3. The lawyers and judge talked and it has been rescheduled to June 10 (2 days before my birthday). Here's to hoping she doesn't get what she's asking for.

[sumbirdy]

Here's a cute pic of Nathan in the snow. He really didn't like it at all so we didn't stay out very long.
Sorry it's so big. Photobucket wouldn't let me edit it.

[Lilith Cherry]

Lots of love to Nathan! I truly hope everything goes well and if his "mother" gets supervised visitation it is NOT overnight and is supervised by a proper court approved person. I will be praying for you all. Lots of loving thoughts, Lilith

[sumbirdy]

Nathan went to the doctor today. What started out as just a visit to check his breathing (he's been raspy) and ears turned into a Hepititis A shot, his blood being drawn (apparantly it has become mandatory for all babies over 9 months, to check for lead and their blood count) and he now has a Nebulizer (sp?) he has to use 3 times a day. He cried worse over getting the shot than he did getting the blood taken. But the plus is, he got TWO suckers

[sumbirdy]

Nathan was diagnosed with Reactive Airway Disease (RAD) And He also has Pulmonary Hypertension which is something he was born with. He spent 2 weeks in NICU (during which time, Stephanie sat around the house and complained about the scar from her C-section) I read somewhere that people with Pulmonary Hypertension have a 2-5 year life span. I hope that's wrong but I know the disease can be deadly. He's been generally healthy all his life except for some breathing problems. What we're really worried about is if she (Stephanie) gets overnight supervision, she could suffocate him and then blame it on his breathing problems, it's something she would do, and she's already threatened to kill him, saying that if somebody else ended up with him and she only got visitation, she would kill him so no one could have him. I'm just praying this all works out, with the custody, and with Nathan's health.

[sumbirdy]

Nathan has a new little buddy for a week. Almost 3-year-old Christian (Charles' girlfriends little boy) Nathan's never been around other kids before. His only cousin lives in Deleware and since I stay home there's never been a need to put him in any sort of child care. It was very interesting. Christian is a ball of energy! I thought Nathan was bad but nothing compares to that kid. He is adorable though and when Nathan first met him he went up to him and gave him a hug. They got along mostly fine, except for Christian seems to be going through a stage where everything is "mine!" (He tried to convince me that my dogs were his, lol) They will be staying until Monday morning. Hope I'll make it through!

[Catty1]

That's great Nathan has a play buddy!

As for his health - I hope that since he is really young and generally healthy that there are some treatments for his breathing issues. Science is coming up with more wonderful things all the time.

So I'll add some PT Prayers to the mix!

(I hope Stephanie doesn't get visitation...does Charles' lawyer know about her threats?)

HUGS to you all!

[sumbirdy]

Stephanie showed up today. She acted normal and fine.....and then Christian came into the room. Suddenly everything changed and she started coughing and saying she was sick and was going to leave at 11:00 or 11:30 (she has 9-12) so that she wouldn't get everyone sick (wouldn't we be exposed to the germs since she showed up anyway? ) Christian is hyper and he was running arond everywhere. And then Christian came up to me,pointed at Stephanie and said "I want him to leave" She has her hair cut real short and does look somewhat like a guy. lol. Christian then went to find his mother and said "Mommy, I'm scared. That guy (Stephanie) in there scares me." Shouldn't that tell us all something? A 3 year old only has to spend 5 minutes in a room with her (with someone else there) and he gets scared. Christian is not shy and he has never been scared of Charles or Dad or Mom or me.

Stephanie ended up only staying 20 minutes.