Oceans of Commotion

[Rachel]

No one has mentioned a driver's license. I thought that when a person was medically not fit to drive the doctor would notify the Secretary of State and the license would be revoked. Maybe Dad would take that matter into consideration.

Jazzcat, is it possible to convince your Dad (during a time of lucidity) to sell his car?

[jazzcat]

No one has mentioned a driver's license. I thought that when a person was medically not fit to drive the doctor would notify the Secretary of State and the license would be revoked. Maybe Dad would take that matter into consideration.

Jazzcat, is it possible to convince your Dad (during a time of lucidity) to sell his car?

We have a hired caretaker who helps me care for Dad and she uses his car to take him places. He's lucid a lot of the time, he just doesn't have good enough short term memory to remember. Also, there are no keys in the house so no way for him to drive, we are safe.

As far as I know in our state the dr.s are not required to contact anyone about removal of license. At least non of his dr.s have ever mentioned this. They know he has no access to keys and that the main problem we have to deal with is him arguing that he wants to drive. He only gets that way when his ride to church is out of town and we have to find someone else to take him. I would do it but I live 35-40 miles away.

I just renewed his driver's license this year because he still flies on a plane to visit my brother and he needs the picture ID to do so.

[sasvermont]

My Mom is also dealing with diabetes (was out of control when she was in charge of her diet)....and has been for years. The older generation thought and maybe the current generation too, that if you take pills or shots, you can eat whatever you want. Wrong. Now that my mom is eating a regular diet and taking pills, she is under control. That was not the case while she was living by herself or in assisted living. She is and has been her own worst enemy.

I feel your pain. Believe me. I just don't get it. The amount of stress this situation (out of control diabetes) has created is overwhelming. She could care less. Gotta wonder what people think they are entitled to in life.

The big picture is the scarey one. Once diabetes is out of control, it often impacts on your chances of major league complications, such as strokes (my mom has had three) dementia and high blood pressure, etc. etc. It can leave you in really bad shape.

I wish I had the answers. I don't. I am spending time looking in to nursing homes again, and possibly moving my Mom to one. Her dementia is getting worse and it is really, really taking a toll on me.

I suppose, one day, I may very well be in my Mom's situation. I surely hope not. One never knows.

I hope and pray that we all find our ways through this maze with our parents. Insurance is expensive, healthcare is off the charts and lots of the burden is being put on the family. When trying to work and take care of a parent or two seems impossible, it probably is.

I think the answer is assistance, help, and resources.

(((((((((((((((((((Everyone)))))))))))))))))))))

[Donnaj4962]

I just renewed his driver's license this year because he still flies on a plane to visit my brother and he needs the picture ID to do so.

Is there any way that he could have a "State issued Identification" instead of an actual driver's license? That is what many of the seniors I work with have since they can no longer drive. But they need the ID for other things... especially to vote!

On a lighter note.... I had a gentleman call the office one day asking for advice on how to get his Father to quit driving. Despite being told by the doctor that he should no longer drive AND his son selling his car.... the gentleman found a way to still drive! He simply went out and bought a new car! Now THAT is serious determination!

Seems to me that the older we get the more stubborn we get! I am sorry you are going through all of this. Please check with your local Council on Aging to get some suggestions for options in your state.

[jazzcat]

Wow Donna, that is a stubborn man!

Thanks for the tip about the state issued ID. I will check into that.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Freedom, I'm sorry to hear that you're having to go through this. Parents can be very stubborn. Both of my parents are now 70 years old and will be 71 very soon. They both have a lot of health problems and so far they can still both drive but I know that the day will come when they won't be able to do this any more. I just hope that when this time comes that they won't rebel like your father. Good luck.

[Freedom]

Thanks for the support, everyone.

Jazzcat, here in RI it is the DMV who issues the state IDs. Just like for the driver license.

Dad has always been stubborn; AND a procrastinator. (My brother calls him "The Great Procrastinator of our Time.") I am sure he "meant" to stop driving, he just didn't get around to it yet.

I thought the primary doc would ask him for his license, or take some action. At least, that is what the diabetes doc led me to believe. Instead she passed the buck to me. Oh well. All part of the learning curve.

Dad is 80. His sister (age 85) stopped driving, voluntarily, as of Sunday. (It was time to renew the car registration and she decided not to.) I remind him of this. He says, "well, when I get to 85 then." Note to self: Skip THAT argument in future.