I have a couple of cats that are like that somewhat, both male, Boo and Coco Puff. I have found that if I take the time to play w/them myself and not just let them play w/toys, it helps tremendously. I have a toy called the Cat Dancer that I play w/them and it gives them lots of exercise and thus calms them down afterwards. Also, many PTers will probably disagree w/me on this subject but I don't let my cats sleep w/me. My bed is for me. Their beds are for them. When I was allowing them in my bedroom, I never got a good night's sleep because they were always exploring and/or knocking things onto the floor. Also, there was no room for me to sleep. They have their own apartment, so to speak, in the basement, complete w/lots of cat beds, condos, toys and also their food, water and litter boxes. That's where they sleep at night w/no access to me whatsoever unless one of them is sick or just had surgery. Then, of course, s/he would sleep w/me until such time as I felt comfortable that s/he could be w/the other cats again. When I tap on the basement door and say "Roll call!", they come running. They know it's bed time. I tuck them in just like you would for kids, give each some attention, then I turn off the lights except for one and tell them that I'm going to bed and I'll see them in the morning and I say goodnight to each one. It may sound strange to you but it works for me. They've learned that there are places in the house they cannot go and there are no exceptions. The upstairs where the bedrooms are located is off limits, period. They have the rest of the house to play in and they love the enclosed patio where they sun themselves most of the day. So perhaps you can train your kitty that he's a well loved member of your household but it's your house and he has to live by your rules. I hope you get some relief. I know how frustrating it can be and I'd sure hate to see you have to rehome him. Please keep us posted and good luck.