No Cancer! All is well in that department. He kept stressing that, because then he had to tell me that there is signs of diabetes, a hernia from one of my surgeries and osteopenia. He sent the tests over to my family doc and I see him on Monday. Geesh, its always something. It all makes me feel so old...lol...oh, wait, I am old....LOL.

The hernia seems to be small and is no bother right now so I won't be doing anything about that. I am in no mood to have any surgery for that at this time. The osteopenia numbers weren't high or that close to osteopirosis (?) so no meds needed at this time. Just need to start taking better care of myself (diet, exercise and make sure I take my calcium). The diabetes I'm a little worried about and don't want to have to deal with but hopefully it will be nothing.

Again though my cancer doc stressed that there is NO CANCER!

The cancer has played such a huge part in my life through the past 3 years. This was my 4th years check up but I don't count that 1st year because that year was spent going through the cancer with the surgeries and treatments. At that time I just did what I needed to do. It wasn't until this past year that I realized how badly it effected me both physically and mentally and I absolutely have such negative feelings about it. At this point I am not one of those people that is grateful to have survived it. I'm sorry to say that but that is just how I feel right now. I feel like the cancer has destroyed my life. All of these feelings have recently surfaced and I realize what a struggle the past few years have been. I am so angry about it. Hopefully in time I will be grateful for this experience and grateful for making it through it. I hope that time comes soon. My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this hideous disease. There is a lady at my work place who has been dealing with it for the past year and her case is far worse than mine ever was. I had told her if she ever wanted to talk about it to just come and talk to me. She finally came to my office area and talked to me yesterday and though I didn't have any answers I just wanted her to know that I was there for her. I hugged her for so long and just didn't want to let her go. I wish so badly that I could have made her all better. She was able to take her victory lap with us at the Relay for Life but it completely drained her and she had to go home right after that. She was not even able to stay for the luminarie walk. I can not stress how much I hate this disease.

Sorry to go off like that. Thank you for your support and prayers.

I am sending out positive thoughts and prayers for those that need them and even for those that haven't asked.

Thank you Pet Talk!