I think my puppy is ready to take me to the psych ward...

Dogs definitely understand what you are saying....I tell my puppy to lie down and go to sleep and she lies down with a big sigh - like she's saying, "fine, I'll lay down but I won't like it!" Or I'll tell her no and she will make this "errrgh" sound as if she's saying, "aw mom why can't I chew on your favourite shoe?" Then sometimes she will just come up to me and let me squeeze her and rub her vigorously because I can't seem to express how much I love her enough and she'll tolerate it because she knows it's what I need to do. She'll sit there and have an expression on her face like, 'ok mom get it over with".

I'm glad I'm not the only one who talks to their dog.