Lisa, we did have that conversation. His problem is that he lived for the past year at school without any rules. Sure, he complained left and right about the hassles of sloppy dorm mates and the noise, and how they ate everything he put in the fridge. Now he's doing everything he complained about. He liked the freedom and now he is resenting that he comes home to rules and the expectation of helping the family out. He only wants to help himself and enjoy the benefits of being in a family environment (ie: food cooked for him and dishes washed for him and clean towels and clothes whenever he needs them) without giving back to the family. We all do whatever we need to do in order to make sure everyone is cared for. He likes being cared for but doesn't want care for anyone else.

We've had this conversation many, many times over this summer. Hubby talks to him, he's better for a few days and then reverts back. He needs to grow up. He's 21 and nobody would ever guess it.