Robin. Still seeing your counsellor? Maybe you need a different one?

I hope you get angry soon - no person is worth losing your life over. But this is progress - even thinking you want to get angry - and not frantic that the other person will change or change their mind. Looks like a change to me.

Maybe getting angry at the dark thoughts and telling them 'where to go' would be a start. I am not kidding.

It's darkest before the dawn, hon.

Repeat gently: "Thy will be done." Repeat it.

Pray for serenity to accept what you can't change. (Other people, places and things).

For courage for what you can. (Your reaction, with faith or without).

Wisdom to know the difference.

Acceptance, in my books, has nothing to do with liking something - FAR from it. It means facing life on life's terms. Acknowledging that is the way it is. It bites. It sucks. It hurts like h***.

"Unless I accept life on life's terms, I cannot be happy."
-AA

hugs and prayers to you.