I saw him for the last time tonight.

It was bittersweet- he was in his uniform (he looks so charming in his uniform ) and he gave me a hug and it was great, until he drove away, then I lost it. I cried the whole way home and I still have tears streaming down my face.

You have to understand that this friend was more than just my boss and a great friend-- he was like my dad. I've lost my relationship with my dad over the past two years with the addition of a step-family. Slowly but surely, I am losing the people that I thought I could trust... Angie has turned into a very controlling person and I can't talk to her like I used to be able to. My dad has started devoting most of his attention to her and her family. My mom and I have never been close. My friends are ditching me for bigger and better things--alcohol and drugs. Butch became the one person I knew would ALWAYS be there for me, night or day. He TOLD me he would be there for me whenever I needed him, and he always was. Now that he's gone, who do I turn to? It's like I've been kicked out of the car on a roadtrip in the middle of nowhere, some deserted highway with nothing but the clothes on my back. I have nowhere to turn.

I know I need to rekindle things with my dad. I know. I'm not one to share my feelings easily though. Maybe through time, things will work out, but right now, I'm just broken hearted and lost.