I fear I lost my creativity!! (update #33, I'm very sad)

[Cataholic]

There are times we ALL lose our focus, and stop relying or counting on our own inner meter for worth. This is exactly what you are doing now. You, for some reason, have lost your sense of inner value, and are allowing outside forces to dictate it. THAT is your issue, not some total stranger simply trying to get your goat. That man is simply the fallout from your problem.

The way people treat you is a reflection of THEM, not you, Kirsten. This guy's posts are not about YOU, they are about him, and where he is in his life.

You will never be able to stop the way someone treats you, posts about you, thinks about you. Never. Not by defending yourself, not by attacking him, not by ignoring him, even. The ONLY thing you can do is change YOU, the way you react, the way you think, the way you act.

Change you. That is the only thing you can do.

AND, think on this: for YEARS we have complimented you on your photos. We have constantly and consistently raved about the beauty, the integrity, the artform, etc. You know this. So, W.H.Y. is one stranger's comment so completely more powerful than all of ours? That, alone, should make you recognize this guy is simply out to get you.

Then, and finally (lol, about time, right?), who gives a rat's ass what someone else thinks of your photography? LORDIE! If I only did things that others found valuable, I would have alot of spare time on my hands.

Shake it off, and move on.

[Alysser]

Then, and finally (lol, about time, right?), who gives a rat's ass what someone else thinks of your photography?

I agree. This guy sounds like a real low-life jack A$$. If I took to heart how many times my photography was made fun of, called horrid, etc. I would have quit a long time ago. By quitting this website, you're just letting this low life creep win. He's trying to make you do that.

[Randi]

OK Kirsten, I know you're feeling down about this, but as Cataholic says, I think the other problems you have, are very much part of this. You need to believe in yourself and not let one person get you down because of some negative comments. Every one gets them now and again.

Is the board for Pro's only? Did he say why your photo's didn't belong there? Confront him directly on the board and ask.

[Kirsten]

I know that Johanna is right, that is has a lot to do with how I feel about myself, insecure and defensive. And yet I never minded critics on my work, it was even welcome because I wanted to learn. But what that guy did was destructive, and he meant it that way.

Randi, it's not a pro board, even though many pros are there. I cannot compare my work to theirs, it's another league. But there are many hobby photographers also, and we learn from each other. Many people there complimented my photos, and many others criticized them and made suggestions how to improve things, which is helpful and welcome.

That guy didn't do any of that, he just questioned my right to publish photos because my "idea of the picture" is wrong, whatever that means. And believe me, that guy is far from being a pro, he's not even photographing. He has a few photos uploaded taken with a disposable camera, and he said he only uploaded them to provoke and to proof that you can do a better work with a simple tool than with a hightech camera. But his photos are crap; honestly, I made better photos with my little pocket camera when I was only 9 years old!

But that doesn't matter. When someone's commenting his pictures, he's just arrogant and humiliates those who made the comments. Calls them too stupid to understand the message. He did the same with those who came to my defence. The more they said, the more he found words to hurt me (and others, some got email from him in which he humiliated their work also). And he did that in a very subtle, yet effective way. It's a scary thought that people like that live in this planet.

Kirsten

[DJFyrewolf36]

This guy sounds like he needs a healthy E-slap

Honestly though, it sounds like he is a pest to the whole community and if he really isnt contributing in a postive manner then he shouldn't really be there. Could you possilby PM others that have dealt with him and PM the moderator with your case?

Trolls like that should just stay in a hole IMO.

[Kirsten]

I already pm'ed the moderators. And they replied they won't do anything about it because there's no censorship.

Kirsten

[Randi]

...he said he only uploaded them to provoke and to proof that you can do a better work with a simple tool than with a hightech camera.

LOL! This comment says it all - he doesn't have the faintest idea about real photography! Consider him a troll and ignore him! You know the saying: Don't feed trolls!

[DJFyrewolf36]

Sigh...some moderators


I find that a lot of forum mods are that way, mostly because they simply don't have the time/disire to deal with people arguing. Karen is honestly one of the very few forum mods I've encountered that will step in and tell someone they are being rude when they are being rude (A quality I very much respect, actually)

My husband always says the internet is destroying the lines of curtesy because you can say things that are hurtfull without the fear of getting your arse kicked. For whatever reason, this guy has a chip on his shoulder. I wonder if he is as rude in real life? I believe very strongly in karma, and someday his miserable ways will catch up with him.

Is there an ignore feature? Maybe organize a forum-wide ignore Trolls tend to wander off if no one is acknowledging them.

[Cataholic]

Kirsten,
Please do not think I am being harsh with you, but, I want to make a very specific point about this situation. Several of us have indicated that this guy isn't the issue...your reaction to the situation is the issue. You seem to agree with this, largely. BUT, you then go on about how others are reacting, how you have pm'd someone to address it, how he does this to other people, also, etc.

You are keeping yourself embroiled in the mess, thinking/hoping that something you do or don't do will somehow alter this guy's behaviour. It won't, as first, you have no control over his behaviour. Second, it isn't his behaviour that is the problem, but, your reaction to it.

You only have control over YOU, and YOUR reactions. Change you or your reaction, which doesn't involve anyone's effort or involvment other than your own.

You can email the world, complaining about his behaviour. Won't change "it", though.

You can get him kicked off the board. Won't change "it", as another will come along.

You can have other's write in on your behalf. Won't change "it", though.

You are in a circle of somehow attempting to negate HIM, his behaviours...in an effort to feel better about yourself. You can't EVER get the first part done, so, you won't ever find a way to feel better about yourself on that course.

You must change you.

This might be one of the areas most frustrating for me when dealing with people.....they are trying to change someone else to make themselves feel better about themselves.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Ignore him! Your pictures are fantastic and give you and us a lot of pleasure!!!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I already pm'ed the moderators. And they replied they won't do anything about it because there's no censorship.

Kirsten

So how do we go about getting on there and giving him what for???

[Pembroke_Corgi]

You take absolutely beautiful pictures! I am always impressed by how lovely your shots are, and you live in such a beautiful country it would be shame to waste your talent!

I know it's hard, but please just try to ignore this person if he is doing you so much harm- like others have said and I'm sure you know, his opinion is worthless. Listen instead to all the people who enjoy seeing your pictures and can appreciate them.

I have a tendency to take things personally sometimes- I don't mean to, but sometimes a harsh word like that can really get me down too. So I can understand how you feel all too well. But please don't let one person destroy something that means so much to you. Just try to think about how taking pictures makes you feel, and don't worry about what other's think, especially someone who is most likely just trying to cause negativity.