Pet Honesty w. BF :-) Edited for clarity

[ramanth]

Well, to be honest, Andy isn't into pets on the same level as I am. He loves them, of that I'm sure, but he wouldn't of made an account on PT if I hadn't pestered him. And even then, he's not on every day like I am. I'll point him towards threads once in awhile.

When I lived alone, the cats slept with me. Now they sleep in their own room seperate from the bedroom. Seeing as Andy is allergic, it's a small sacrifice I made. But that's what a marriage is about. Give and take.

[Catty1]

Thanks, all.

If I was ill, the cats would be looked after no problem. BF is very organized about proper care for his dog. When I gave him an old wire catbrush, he used it on his bichon - and the pup loved it! That became a bonding thing, with Bailey looking fluffy and cute!

I know it is give and take, no question. I guess I am assessing what I am willing to give...and nothing's final yet.

[Cataholic]

Well, maybe I give Andy special dispensation because I have actually met him? Dunno...I wouldn't have pegged him as a nonnie(non animal lover).

For me, it isn't so much the level of animal worship, but, the RESPECT of my adoration that is important.

From just that small, tiny, glimpse into your personal affairs, and only because you asked...my concern wouldn't be the level of worship he has for your pets but over the way he totally and completely blew you off when you brought up the question. Sorry, but, to me, that is a huge, significant red flag.

To me, he was saying, "oh, good grief, here we go again! I am not dealing with this".

[ramanth]

Well, maybe I give Andy special dispensation because I have actually met him? Dunno...I wouldn't have pegged him as a nonnie(non animal lover).

For me, it isn't so much the level of animal worship, but, the RESPECT of my adoration that is important.

That's a good point. Andy told me it was my deep love, caring, and adoration for all animals great and small that attracted him to me.

He grew up believing a dog is just a dog. Their dog was outdoors only and befoe he met me, he didn't realize that a pet could be a close member of the family.

So while he's not up at my "level" of obsessiveness , he's changed his way of thinking.

[Catty1]

You know, Ramanth - you raise a good point. We have really good talks. However, not long after surgery I had several points I wanted to raise - and he said (this was on IM) that surely we don't have issues when we have been dating less than a year?



So I have raised them one at a time, and a couple have been resolved. I will raise the animal one again.

His wife died several years ago after a long illness - and understandably, he is now at the point where he wants to move on, enjoy life, and friends and family (and he has a LOT of family).

I can see 'issues' not being part of his script. And they AREN'T issues. But they might become that, so I want to address them now, while it can be done gently and calmly, instead of panic trouble-shooting.

Thanks, folks.