Phred I am so sorry. Boots' story has helped me both with Filou and with Tigris- so I feel very close to you and your experience.
I can understand very well that Hiob's doubts are in you right now- for me it is easier not to find any sense in what happens to our beloved. It simply happens. Nature is that way. And a God who would think of punishing you among all people would not make much sense for me either. So it must be another reason why Boots had to leave the bestest dad he ever knew