16 year old student marries 40 year old

[Giselle]

I'm going to assume that most of you are well over the age of 20, at least. As an almost 16-year-old, I can tell you that, no, many of my peers are not mature enough to handle marriage, and, no, most of them can't differentiate between true love and infatuation. Yes, age is just a number and love has no physical limitations or boundaries. However, this GIRL is just 16. In this modern world where a large number of teens leave home at age 18 not to start their careers but to continue their education, I firmly feel 16 is not the age to begin a marriage to somebody 24 years older. I don't see why she wanted to rush this. Why not continue dating and wait a few years (i.e. when she enters college??).

And, I have to disagree. There is a lot of mental and physical development that takes place between 16 and 18. There've been a good deal of studies regarding young teens and their ability/mental maturity to drive a car. At 16, it's undeniable that our brains are still in a fast rate of growth and development. Maybe I should stick my head out from my books, but that's my belief.

[Crazy-Cat-Lover]

I have been happily married to my husband for almost a year. I am 22, he's 41. I was 21 when I married him and made the decision based on love. He might be a lot older than me, but he is a great husband and a wonderful father. Most people are shocked when they find out the age difference, but they can see that we DO love each other dearly.

[Argranade]

Love realy does not have any boundries lol (sp?).

Sorry but I find that kinda gross lol.

[theterrierman]

Although I don't find it particularly pleasant, the thing is, it's their choice whether they want to get married. It's legal. Hell, if they're in love, it's alot more acceptable to me than some gold-digger marrying some man/woman on their deathbed to inherit their estate. And, the girl is physically and sexually mature, so it's not pedophilia in any way. What bothers me, is how the relationship was initiated. I sure as heck hope this guy was conducting himself properly at school.

[Karen]

I have known 16-year-olds that were more mature than some 25-year-olds I knew, and vice versa. I do wonder though, if, in ten year's time, he'll dump her when she's an adult woman and find another gullible teen to pursue, but only time will tell, and doubtless the media will not care.

[critter crazy]

I dont care either way, dosent affect me in the least bit. My parents are 27 years apart, and they are very happily married. Hubby and I are 10 years apart, I moved in with him, when I was 18, and he was 28. we have been together so far, for over 10 years. to each their own, I say.

[mike001]

I'm going to assume that most of you are well over the age of 20, at least. As an almost 16-year-old, I can tell you that, no, many of my peers are not mature enough to handle marriage, and, no, most of them can't differentiate between true love and infatuation. Yes, age is just a number and love has no physical limitations or boundaries. However, this GIRL is just 16. In this modern world where a large number of teens leave home at age 18 not to start their careers but to continue their education, I firmly feel 16 is not the age to begin a marriage to somebody 24 years older. I don't see why she wanted to rush this. Why not continue dating and wait a few years (i.e. when she enters college??).

And, I have to disagree. There is a lot of mental and physical development that takes place between 16 and 18. There've been a good deal of studies regarding young teens and their ability/mental maturity to drive a car. At 16, it's undeniable that our brains are still in a fast rate of growth and development. Maybe I should stick my head out from my books, but that's my belief.

Congratulations Giselle, you appear to be very well in touch with reality. This was by far the most mature response on the subject.

[wombat2u2004]

Congratulations Giselle, you appear to be very well in touch with reality. This was by far the most mature response on the subject.

LOL....thats only because Giselle agrees with your point of view !!!!! And that statement is only YOUR opinion. And REALITY ???? I think not.
We have seen on this thread, so many examples on each side of the argument, some successful, others unsuccessful. So hey....what is the true message here ????? As Crow Noir pointed out quite correctly along the lines of "We are all human, we all react differently, we all have different needs, we all mature differently, and that,s what makes us all unique as individuals".
The fact is, we are ALL VERY different, and the sooner we stop putting our own expectations on others the better.
I say good luck to this couple, and I sincerely hope that it all works out for them.
Wom

[mugsy]

This is the first time I've read this thread and a little surprised this is "THE" thread.

As a teacher, I think the man made a poor choice, but, if they are in love, they are in love. Like LH said, it depends on the state. If in NC the legal age of consent is 16, then they did nothing wrong. Teachers, however, for one reason or another, are held to a higher standard when it comes to this stuff. I'm too old now and too fat for kids to have a crush on me, but, I know there are kids that have crushes on their teachers. Sometimes it's just that, and other times, AFTER the student gets out of school they date and marry. I had one of my student teachers fall in love with and marry one of his students (that was when he was student teaching in high school). They had a couple of kids, unfortunately, they are divorcing, but, I seriously doubt it has anything to do with him being her teacher 12 years ago.

I also agree with Liz that the parents obviously were oblivious to their daughter's goings on and when they figured it out, it was "too late".

Honestly, when it comes right down to it, it's no one's business but theirs. Just a thought or 2 from an oldster teacher.

[mike001]

LOL....thats only because Giselle agrees with your point of view !!!!! And that statement is only YOUR opinion. And REALITY ???? I think not.
We have seen on this thread, so many examples on each side of the argument, some successful, others unsuccessful. So hey....what is the true message here ????? As Crow Noir pointed out quite correctly along the lines of "We are all human, we all react differently, we all have different needs, we all mature differently, and that,s what makes us all unique as individuals".
The fact is, we are ALL VERY different, and the sooner we stop putting our own expectations on others the better.
I say good luck to this couple, and I sincerely hope that it all works out for them.
Wom

No, not at all. It's because Giselle and Animal-lover sound like two very mature teens themselves and what better opinion than from someone in that age bracket. I would be proud to have the two of them as daughters with that kind of level headed thinking. Any mother letting a 14 yr old start dating a man old enough to be her father sounds a bit off the wall to me. At 14 a girl is still a child and at 16 her body might look adult but is very far from it, she still has a lot of developing to do, bodywise and brainwise.
I never said they did anything wrong, I just said that in today's world, teens have a hard enough time coping with their education and the world around them without looking for more problems by getting married and bringing children into the world. Sounds too much like a soap opera to me.
Again I repeat my congratulations to Giselle and Animal Lover for their maturity.

[wombat2u2004]

No, not at all. It's because Giselle and Animal-lover sound like two very mature teens themselves and what better opinion than from someone in that age bracket. I would be proud to have the two of them as daughters with that kind of level headed thinking. Any mother letting a 14 yr old start dating a man old enough to be her father sounds a bit off the wall to me. At 14 a girl is still a child and at 16 her body might look adult but is very far from it, she still has a lot of developing to do, bodywise and brainwise.
I never said they did anything wrong, I just said that in today's world, teens have a hard enough time coping with their education and the world around them without looking for more problems by getting married and bringing children into the world. Sounds too much like a soap opera to me.
Again I repeat my congratulations to Giselle and Animal Lover for their maturity.

Yes....I know what your saying Mike, and I do agree with you to a certain extent. However I'm still of the opinion that we just can't lump all 16 year olds into the same immature bucket, I guess I don't look at things in a generalised sort of a way.
Wom

[Marigold2]

Sixteen year old girls should not marry. They really need time to grow and find out about themselves. College or trade school, travel, making new friends, working those few years and learning what they are good at. When you are 16 you are just learning to drive, have hardly any work experience, don't know how to sign a lease, take out a loan, open bank accounts, buy a car, budget a checkbook, probably she never gave a thought to bill paying. This is a father figure to her not a husband.

Perhaps 50 years ago these marries worked better but the world is different now. Woman don't stay home and have babies, they go out in the world and work, travel, make important decisions on how companies are run, not just what baby bottle is best.

At 16 most girls are reading Cosmo and wondering does the pink or the peach nail polish go better with this outfit, not how many pounds of ground beef do I need to make this dish and what toliet bowl cleaner is going to be on sale.

Sixteen year olds should be out partying and having fun. This teacher is robbing a young girl of her chance at being a young girl and asking her to be an adult, let her have her fun and her education let her be 16.

For God's sake, is she bringing her husband to the prom?

[mike001]

Yes....I know what your saying Mike, and I do agree with you to a certain extent. However I'm still of the opinion that we just can't lump all 16 year olds into the same immature bucket, I guess I don't look at things in a generalised sort of a way.
Wom

Not exactly generalizing, well yes, maybe I am....I just think 16 is way too young in this day and age. Again, not that I am condemning them for doing wrong. Just think that life still has a lot to offer kids of that age today. And education is so much more important today than it was a century ago. But I do wish them happiness and hope it does last.

[sparks19]

Not exactly generalizing, well yes, maybe I am....I just think 16 is way too young in this day and age. Again, not that I am condemning them for doing wrong. Just think that life still has a lot to offer kids of that age today. And education is so much more important today than it was a century ago. But I do wish them happiness and hope it does last.

But who's to say she can't get her education or won't? Marriage does not prevent one from travelling, experiencing life, or getting an education.

I know plenty of married couples who decided to further their education after they were married.

Who is to say that if she hadn't married him that she would have went to college or even finished highschool.

[animal_rescue]

I'm going to assume that most of you are well over the age of 20, at least. As an almost 16-year-old, I can tell you that, no, many of my peers are not mature enough to handle marriage, and, no, most of them can't differentiate between true love and infatuation. Yes, age is just a number and love has no physical limitations or boundaries. However, this GIRL is just 16. In this modern world where a large number of teens leave home at age 18 not to start their careers but to continue their education, I firmly feel 16 is not the age to begin a marriage to somebody 24 years older. I don't see why she wanted to rush this. Why not continue dating and wait a few years (i.e. when she enters college??).

And, I have to disagree. There is a lot of mental and physical development that takes place between 16 and 18. There've been a good deal of studies regarding young teens and their ability/mental maturity to drive a car. At 16, it's undeniable that our brains are still in a fast rate of growth and development. Maybe I should stick my head out from my books, but that's my belief.

I definitely have to agree with you! I'm almost 18 years old and I know plenty of peers who think they are in love but are far from it. One example is a boyfriend from when I was 15. He told me he loved me when we had only been dating for about 3 weeks. My answer was "Uhh thanks" When he asked why I didn't say it back, I simply replied I didn't know him well enough to love him. Sure I loved him as a friend but I don't believe true loves comes along until you really have been with that person and known them. Needless to say I dumped him a couple of weeks later, way too immature for me. Happily have been single since. Anyways not trying to make this about me, but hopefully some people will understand seeing it come from us Youngins. I just don't think she is mentally stable enough to be married, in my sociology class we learned the difference between adults and teens and even about how love occurs.