Hubby refuses to take his meds -- help!

[AdoreMyDogs]

I'm sorry you're going through this, Kim and I wish I could help.

My hubby gets cases of the stupids every know and then too, except with us, it's his epilepsy meds that he thinks we can't afford even though we can. His last episode happened on mother's day. When I went to pick him up from the ER (as I will no longer go with him and "support" him), the ER had this terrible feeling around it. My hubby told me that a family just lost their little 3 year old baby. ON MOTHER'S DAY!!! I could hear that poor woman sobbing asking God why he would take her baby. I looked over to where I heard the crying coming from. As I did, someone opened the curtain and I saw a tiny, lifeless little body on the bed. I still can't get that poor lady out of my head. I still cry and pray for her.

When we got home, I think I hugged Hugito so hard that he farted. I was so angry at my husband for exposing me to that. No mother should ever lose her baby on Mother's day. As a matter of fact, no parent should ever out live their child, period!

Sorry for the vent. I just wanted to let you know that we're in the same boat. If you do get through to your husband, please let me know.

I'm so sorry your hubby is being so difficult. I hope, somehow, something clicks in his brain and he begins to see the importance of his meds and puts an end to all your stresses ((((((Hugs)))))

And OMG, Debby! I cried when I read about what you experienced. I can't even stand to think about it or visualize it...it hurts That poor, poor woman.

[Catty1]

A friend of mine took herself off Lipitor - with her Dr's knowledge but not permission.

She had researched it and very awful things can happen, especially if one takes it long term. Of course, you are not told that when you get the scrip!

There is a product I am trying to research as my friend tries to research other stuff. I have seen an ad on US tv for Garlic-ex or something. Supposedly it works well for some people - the ad refers to this patient and his doctor both liking it.

I'll try Googling it again, but I can't recall the name.

Kim - maybe he'd check something natural with his doc?

Prayers headed your way!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

1. Get him a monitor so he can check his BP for himself

2. Remind him that high blood pressure isn't called the silent killer for nothing

3. Any one who has hypertension (if that makes it sound better to him) has to face being on medication for life - I do and I am!

4. Kick his selfish, stupid butt and tell him to stop being such a big baby

[Catty1]

I like the idea of getting the blood pressure kit and using it yourself as a "toy" - try it on Ashley too!

He'll get curious enough...

Denise, the thing is this man has been told all the stuff about health and etc and leaving little Cam without a grandad, etc. It doesn't seem to have worked.

I think if he's left to make his own decision, he will. But it's like an alkie - he may have to hit his own bottom before he does that. If he does have to learn the hard way, I hope it is the gentlest one possible.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Denise, the thing is this man has been told all the stuff about health and etc and leaving little Cam without a grandad, etc. It doesn't seem to have worked.

I think if he's left to make his own decision, he will.

Let's hope he comes to his senses before it is too late

In the meantime don't mention the subject to him again - ultimately it is his choice I guess

[Pam]

Kim I sympathize as my hubby hasn't even gone for a physical in years and years. High cholesterol runs in his family and I am really worried. He said that years ago his cholesterol was fine. Doesn't he realize that those numbers can change? I find that the more I nag, the more he digs in his heels. I am thinking of just going ahead and making that appointment. I doubt he'd cancel.

I don't know that personality change is related to BP medications. I take a blood pressure lowering medication and have never been told/warned of that as a side effect. I am thinking that maybe something else is going on with your hubby which might be causing his outbursts. Most men aren't very communicative when it comes to what is bothering them, unlike us women who will tell any listening ear!

[sparks19]

I am sorry you are dealing with this I really know nothing about high BP and the meds and stuff but I think you have gotten some good advice here.

All I can offer is my best wishes for you and yours. Good luck and I hope he comes to his senses soon.

[catnapper]

Thanks guys.

I know nagging never gets anyone anywhere. My style of nagging is when he's exploding to tell him he wouldn't be exploding if he was taking the pills, to which he responds he wouldn't be exploding if we didn't give him something to explode about. Otherwise, I comment once a week or so that he still has the same number of pills in the bottle. Or I comment to family with him there that he's not taking the pills, and they all gasp in surprise and tell him he HAS to. He ignores it all.

While I agree with him that the kids are leaving the house in a state of disaster now that they're out of school, rather than exploding, get them to DO something. Though last night, I never saw kids scatter to clean so fast... MOPPING the kitchen floor (whodathunkit?!) and scrubbing the tub. Even bleaching the shower curtain liner!

Half our fights are the kids and what they've done to the house. The other half is the fact that I can't hear anything with my allergies clogging my head. On top of muffled sounds courtesy all of hte snot swimming in my head, we always have either the windows open or AC units running; the noise of either just blocks anything and everything out. I turn up the TV REALLY high to compensate and hear it. Then I never hear the phone or other noises in the house. So now I'm going to call the doctor to get tested to find out there's nothing they can do, except to wait til the fall. I went through all the testing a few years ago to no solution. But if it means he'll stop exploding on me because I can't hear, I'll go through the tests and incurr a couple hundred dollars worth of medical bills.

If it wasn't for his BP, he would logically know I can't hear right now. Instead, he explodes when I don't hear the phone. He SWEARS I am just being lazy and pretend I don't hear it so I don't have to answer it. He honestly thinks I'm acting!!!! He's GOT to be kidding. I'm not a good actor and certainly would not be this comprehensive and consistent.

-------------------------------------

Hubby is not on any of those meds. He's on Benicar. I don't have time to research it at this moment.... but I will! I've only seen GOOD come from him taking it. His personality becomes wonderful, the man I married. I can tell the moment he's off it because his personality changes into this awful short tempered man. A serious Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde scenario.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of a personal BP machine. We do not have the money for it but live right behind a drug store that has one in store, so I'll walk over with him to get a BP reading. If it comes up 120/80 or below, I'll keep quiet and seriously try to change myself and listen to what he's complaining about. I told him calmly last night that I worry about him. That I'll shut up if he agrees to a BP test. He REFUSES to go to the doctor.

[moosmom]

hubby shot darts from his eyes

THAT is known as the "hairy eyeball". Chilling, isn't it??

I agree with Candace. You've told him how ya feel, now drop it and go out, get a nice BIG insurance policy and a BP kit at CVS.

I don't kow what it is with guys and doctors. They have this fear of them that I just don't get.

[Callie]

My husband was on Lipitor...and had tons of symptoms including getting so weak he couldn't put his own trousers on, couldn't raise his arms, and dizziness. This is a guy who does physical labor, on ladders, all day long when he's not selling so you can see the problems.

We knew things had to change but he made no effort to change things. So...I started just 'sharing' interesting little tidbits I found with him. Things like a story someone shared about their experiences with statins, or the latest research. Sometimes we'd get into a discussion as a result. Gradually he started doing his own curiosity look ups on the computer.

He quit the statins, decided to go on moderate Niacin (non-flushing type), and says he feels better every day. His breathing has improved, as has his energy, he sleeps sounder (no nightmares and falling out of bed), no dizziness or weakness. At 73 he's better than he was at 63 and on statins.

Now about the BP: Do a google on Frank Mangano and get his natural cure book for blood pressure called "The Silent Killer". I've used it and it's saving my life since I'm allergic to all the BP meds...they're worse than the known risks of the disease for me.

Hope for the best and don't nag him...as you can see it backfires with men.

Callie

[Freedom]

it's like an alkie - he may have to hit his own bottom before he does that. If he does have to learn the hard way, I hope it is the gentlest one possible.

I've had similar problems with my Dad and his diabetes. He won't listen to me, the doctor, the nurse, the diabetes educator. His diabetes doc even asked, "Where did YOU get your medical degree?"

It's been a bit over 6 years. For 5 years I was a mental case, on him constantly. I'd phone the doctor's office all upset about his readings and what he ate which he shouldn't have, what meds he skipped. Reminding him I was the one who would have to cope with the results didn't help; taking him to the diabetes ward to SEE folks with the complications didn't do it. Finally, for the last 6 months, I have finally come to realize that I can't MAKE him do a thing. He has to want to do it for himself. I've backed off and shut up. And yeah, I don't always go to the ER with him; I DO phone 911 and take the steps to get him help.

Well, now he has the complications: lost 35% of sensitiviy in his feet; retinopathy started in both eyes; kidneys have started to fail. In the last 5 or 6 months, he has been GOLDEN! A bit late, but that is what it took for him.

It isn't easy to sit back and watch someone self destruct. I like the idea put forth to get the BP kit. Otherwise, maybe get some therapy for yourself to learn how to step back. Sorry, but that's what it took, here.