Thanks for all the great advice. I've known Sara for 35 years. I've been there for her through two failed marriages (one to a hopeless drunk). We shared an apartment for about a year when she first met Al. I didn't like him then either.

Sara is a very sensitive person and I see alot of me in her. She is a very quiet, private person. She and Al have been together for 14 years. I thought about saying something to her. But I know her well and I wouldn't want to make her feel any worse than she already did.

She said, "If I said why didn't you tell me?? He'd have said, I'm telling you now." That basically said it all, IMO.

Edwina's Secretary,

Sorry...I disagree...your friend knows her husband is a jerk. One time I gave a friend my opinion about her husband (and she had asked!) She went back with him and never spoke to me again.
My thoughts exactly.

Bottom line is, the guy's an @$$. Would I give up my friendship because of him? Hell no.