I'm sorry to hear that Laura.
About the Clomicalm, Medusa recommended it to me for Rocky when he began marking cat beds and attacking Scout from stress. You have to have a vet prescription for it. It's made for dogs but in smaller doses it will work for cats. Around here I can only get it in cream form for the ear and it has to be compounded at a special pharmacy which means big buck - $35 for a 30 day supply but after a few weeks I was able to cut the dose in half and now I only give Rocky that much about every 3-4 days. This last time he went 5 days before starting to show aggression. Tracey was able to get it for Storm in liquid form in Tuna flavor to put on his food and Medusa gets it in pill form, I believe. You would need to ask you vet about it and what form you can get. It really doesn't seem to have any bad side effects except when Rocky gets a large dose he sleeps a lot. The positive side is he stopped peeing on the cat beds and attacking Scout and went back to being his affectionate self that he was before we brought the kittens in. I've been using it since April and I highly recommend it!
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The reason that Storm's was made into a liquid was because he's on such a low dose that it would be hard to cut up a pill this small. I just have to give it to him plain without mixing it in his food though. I tried putting it in some wet food and he smelled it and he wouldn't eat it. The liquid makes him drool for a little bit but them he calms down and gets in his box for the night. I give it to him at 11pm every night and I also make sure to spray feliway in the hallway and entry way before I go to bed. So far so good. Good luck.
I am beginning to wonder about that girl.. 
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