Stag and Doe's

[sparks19]

LOL good lord some of these "accusations" are ridiculous. It is not a "give me money because I can't afford to be married" sort of thing. it is a big party thrown mostly for people that will not be able to attend the wedding.... most of the time no one has bridal showers anymore.... at least people I know of. No one HAS to give money... you don't HAVE to go... you aren't EXPECTED to do anything. They sell tickets to a party.... WOW so unheard of LOL. You go to the party .... the bride and groom RENT a hall, RENT a DJ, and buy booze to be served at the hall. They have games you can play.... you put down .25 cents for a goldfish race.... I hope that doesn't break the bank. You buy raffle tickets for door prizes or a 50/50 draw. For example, I am donating a bottle of Vodka for a door prize at my sisters stag and doe.... all the brides maids and groomsmen are donating door prizes as well as the bride and groom.

I really don't see where this says you can't afford to get married or you need a financial advisor... that seems a little silly to assume that throwing a party where you make back the money you spent on the party and maybe a little extra means THAT. I guess it's just a difference in culture.... this is VERY normal where I come from and is a GREAT time. I'm willing to donate $10 for a great party in celebration of such an event.... especially if I am not going to the wedding.

The wedding is already paid for.... I don't think it is unheard of for a newly wed couple to raise money to help start their new life. No one is expected to do anything or pay anything.... they just DO because they love the bride and groom and like to have a good party.

But again this must just be a big difference in culture.... even though it's just across the border lol. This is a VERY common practice and a lot of time it is expected that you will throw this party.

I think most of the time they still have their individual nights out for a bachelor or bachelorette party.... this is just a party they can throw together with ALL of their friends and family.

Today's youth? LOL... that cracks me up. You see... this is not a "today's youth" type thing.... where I am from this is a tradition and has been for many many many years.... long before I was even born. I guess it's just a different tradition than you are used to and you have a hard time understanding that it is not greed that governs these parties. You certainly would not be obligated to attend.

[king2005]

This is a VERY common practice and a lot of time it is expected that you will throw this party.

When the boys got married they didn't have a Stag n Stag party. A lot of people were mad.. Its going on 7 months & we stil hear about not having one

[sparks19]

When the boys got married they didn't have a Stag n Stag party. A lot of people were mad.. Its going on 7 months & we stil hear about not having one

LOL I know.... I got married kind of on the fly lol There was no wedding... no reception... no stag and doe.... and all everyone kept saying is "aren't you going to have a party?" LOL

And what is considered "Today's youth"

How young do you have to be to fit into that category.... IMO, my sister does NOT fit into the "Todays youth" category lol nor did my brother when he got married and they had their stag and doe. But I am sure my father will be thrilled to know that at 60 years old he is considered "today's youth" Although I suspect he already thinks he is.... Young at heart doesn't begin to describe it lol

[cassiesmom]

Wait, I'm confused - is a stag and doe anything like a couples' shower? The last wedding I was invited to, they had a couples' shower because both the bride and the groom had been living on their own and they both had all the things that would have been "typical" shower gifts - like a blender, kitchen items, towels, that sort of thing. It was fun! A bunch of us going to the shower knew one another, so we all went in together to buy them a Weber kettle. But the secret got out, and when the groom found out, he insisted on using it at the couples' shower. So it was sort of a shower, barbecue, garden party sort of thing. Then the following weekend they had a big garage sale to get rid of their "double" objects and gave the money to cancer research.

[sparks19]

Wait, I'm confused - is a stag and doe anything like a couples' shower? The last wedding I was invited to, they had a couples' shower because both the bride and the groom had been living on their own and they both had all the things that would have been "typical" shower gifts - like a blender, kitchen items, towels, that sort of thing. It was fun! A bunch of us going to the shower knew one another, so we all went in together to buy them a Weber kettle. But the secret got out, and when the groom found out, he insisted on using it at the couples' shower. So it was sort of a shower, barbecue, garden party sort of thing. Then the following weekend they had a big garage sale to get rid of their "double" objects and gave the money to cancer research.

Sorta.... You don't really buy gifts or just donate money.... you buy things like tickets for admission.... pay to play goofy games and win prizes and buy raffle tickets for door prizes and 50/50 draws... and then they sell drinks for cheap. But yes since they already have a house and all their things they don't really need appliances or anything so there is really no sense in "gifts" because they already have everything lol. It's just a big party and people can choose to spend as much or as little as they want if any.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Wow...so couples who get married in Canada already have houses and all the appliances they need! And they don't need gifts. So they have a party for which they charge admission and sell drinks.

Don't you have to have a liquor license to sell drinks?

And you don't give wedding gifts as they already have everything they need need.

Interesting two countries so close have such different customs.

[sparks19]

Wow...so couples who get married in Canada already have houses and all the appliances they need! And they don't need gifts. So they have a party for which they charge admission and sell drinks.

Don't you have to have a liquor license to sell drinks?

And you don't give wedding gifts as they already have everything they need need.

Interesting two countries so close have such different customs.

do you actually read what is written or do you just skim and come to your own conclusions?

You will clearly see I said "my sister and her fiance" already have their house and all their appliances and have had their house for quite some time so technically they do NOT need a gift registry as they already have all their appliances... again this is MY SISTER and her FIANCE.... not to be confused with all of Canada this is not true for everyone and if you read.... I never said it was.

and yes you have to have a liquor license to sell liquor.... which is why you go to the LCBO (liquor control board of Ontario) and apply for a temporary license which allows you to serve alcohol from that venue for that night. It's really quite simple and they are very easy to obtain.

why is it so confusing that we perhaps have a different tradition than you do? YES in Canada (at least in Ontario) it is expected that you will likely have a stag and doe.... MOSTLY for those that cannot or won't be attending the wedding.... however many people that ARE attending the wedding CHOOSE to go to this party. But it gives a chance for ALL of your friends, family and or co workers to join in on a celebration and they buy tickets (usually in advanced).

for the most part the money raised pays for the rented hall for the stag and doe.... the booze (bought by the bride and groom).... the DJ.... etc etc..... anything extra raised they get to keep. It's not like people are duped into giving money LOL it is very clear and understood and you are not required to attend. it is just a night to party put on by the bride and groom.


Blue Frog.... no I thought you did a great job of explaining different reasons for Stag and Doe's.... They are a ton of fun though


Lizbud, I don't know why.... it's just how we do it in Canada (Ontario). The Bride and Groom throw a stag and doe.... the groomsmen and Bridesmaids also help in the planning for the party and usually the bridal party is introduced as the bridal party at the Stag and Doe. it's just how we do things..... they are VERY common up there. it is more common to have one than to not have one. Last one I went to.... I won one of those cool folding chairs in a bag in the prize drawing.

LOL who knew talk about a party would spark such a debate .... Like Lizbud said... it's a PARTY. And it's usually a heck of a party at that lol.... although I will not be able to partake in the alcohol but perhaps I can haul my pregnant self out to the dance floor for a song or two haha.... otherwise I will probably spend mostof my time playing the goldfish races

[lizbud]

Sorta.... You don't really buy gifts or just donate money.... you buy things like tickets for admission.... pay to play goofy games and win prizes and buy raffle tickets for door prizes and 50/50 draws... and then they sell drinks for cheap. But yes since they already have a house and all their things they don't really need appliances or anything so there is really no sense in "gifts" because they already have everything lol. It's just a big party and people can choose to spend as much or as little as they want if any.

I gotta say, I have never heard of these kinds of parties. I don't get the
pay to play idea for a party. Why not give them a money gift and furnish
the games, drinks, and food for free. It's a PARTY.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Sorta.... You don't really buy gifts or just donate money.... you buy things like tickets for admission.... pay to play goofy games and win prizes and buy raffle tickets for door prizes and 50/50 draws... and then they sell drinks for cheap. But yes since they already have a house and all their things they don't really need appliances or anything so there is really no sense in "gifts" because they already have everything lol. It's just a big party and people can choose to spend as much or as little as they want if any.

Sorry...I missed the "my sister and her fiance" in this post.

[sparks19]

Sorry...I missed the "my sister and her fiance" in this post.

is that the only post you read?

I clearly mention "my sisters stag and doe this weekend" more than once.

but that is neither here nor there.... seems you just have your panties in a twist about something you don't understand and if you dont' understand it you don't like it. You have come to your own conclusions about our traditions and there is nothing anyone says that will change your mind.... you don't like it and that is that. But you are missing out on one h*ll of a party

this thread was not meant to start a heated debate.... it is a simple thread about a difference of tradition. is it too much to ask that a thread be taken the way it is? a light hearted question out of curiousity. Apparently it is. My mistake

I had no idea it would turn into a "youth of today" and "people are so greedy" and "if they are raising money they shouldn't be getting married they must be in tremendous debt" thread LOL it seems very silly to me that anyone would have even TAKEN the thread this way. it is a PARTY that people pay admission to.... apparently that is unheard of around these parts.... but admission to parties where the hall, dj, food and alcohol are supplied is very common where I come from... I see nothing wrong with paying an admission to a party such as this.... if you do ... well that is a whole different issue now isn't it. Where I am from a ten dollar ticket doesn't break the bank and if it does you don't attend.... no harm no foul.

Edited to add: I guess we are just a party nation hence this party tradition that is unheard of elsewhere

[Blue_Frog]

Sparks -- I'm sorry if what i said seemed directed towards your party, because I really didn't mean it that way at all, and my explanations probabally confused things even more for some of the folks on here.

The stag-n-doe party that I helped out with was to raise money to get some family out to the wedding who otherwise couldn't afford it so it was a little bit of a different situation, and I probablly shouldn't have used that as the explanation. The 'helping to pay' for the wedding was to get the family there, because it was important to the bride and groom, and we as their friends didn't want to see them in debt.

I've been to a couple of them as well -- like at Dave and Busters and such. Its always been a way to enjoy time with your friends, especially if your friends aren't of the same sex so wouldn't generally be invited to the stag/stagette party otherwise (yes, i know there are exceptions of course )

So again, sorry if i made a confusing mess of what a stag and doe is supposed to be about.