Stag and Doe's

[Cataholic]

BF- WOW. You are a generous person, truly.

I can't really say that I am familiar with these sort of 'parties'. IMO, at a minimum, they should be encaptioned 'fundraisers'. Truly, though, these people should be rethinking their priorities. Why enter into a 'new' life when they can't afford it? There are lots of things I want, and don't want to go into debt for. New house, new car, pay off my student loans, upgrade my wardrobe, etc. But, I can't afford it. So, I wait. Or, do without. Or, modify.

To me, this is just one of the areas of trouble with today's 'youth'. (I know, I know, I am once again knocking the younger set). The entitlement theory is a tough one to survive on....

[Blue_Frog]

BF- WOW. You are a generous person, truly.

I can't really say that I am familiar with these sort of 'parties'. IMO, at a minimum, they should be encaptioned 'fundraisers'. Truly, though, these people should be rethinking their priorities. Why enter into a 'new' life when they can't afford it? There are lots of things I want, and don't want to go into debt for. New house, new car, pay off my student loans, upgrade my wardrobe, etc. But, I can't afford it. So, I wait. Or, do without. Or, modify.

To me, this is just one of the areas of trouble with today's 'youth'. (I know, I know, I am once again knocking the younger set). The entitlement theory is a tough one to survive on....

Well, the way i always figured it is -- I have a few close friends, and I'd like to see them be happy in their lives. If I can afford to help them out, then i will to the best of my ability, because I care about them and their future. You hopefully only get married once, and its for both of you, but also for your family and friends to help you to celebrate your lives together -- even if they can't necessairly afford everything. Its a way to give the new couple, as well as the attendees some good memories of what is supposed to be a special and memorable event.

I'm not sure if I fall into the 'Today's Youth' set you're talking about -- quite possibly I do, but I have never felt 'entitled' to anything. I work for what I have, and I give what I can to my friends and family. But looking from the reverse thing, I have 2 parents, both very recently retired and not living together, into their pensions ... and I fully expect that I will into the future be having to help support them in some fashion. I may not be explaining what I'm trying to say very well here -- may have to think on it some more.

[Killearn Kitties]

Blue Frog, remember that thread you posted before about people not turning up at weddings? I think I now know why. They can't afford to go to a wedding, so they try to kid on they have fled the country.

[Cataholic]

Blue Frog, remember that thread you posted before about people not turning up at weddings? I think I now know why. They can't afford to go to a wedding, so they try to kid on they have fled the country.

Good point there, KK. For me, I would have to look closely at the pocketbook, and weigh the wedding 'requirements' with the mortgage 'requirements'. Thankfully for the young one, five pets, and this old person- the mortgage wins! BUT, a tastefully respectful gift would be sent. Operative word- gift.

[king2005]

Todays youth?
Ummm thats far from the truth!

My folks married 26-27yrs ago & did the same thing, but they also were given a couple planned gifts(I have the fondu set).. I think my mom was 25ish & dad was 31ish. My uncle got married in his 30's & did the same thing.

Its not something new by far! Its either gifts or money, not both (except for a few greedy turds, but ignoring them...)

Like I said, if I ever get married, there is nothing to get us & people like to give "something" at a wedding, so instead of gifts, its money.

Thats not why people don't show up to weddings. Theres no fee, as the stag n doe, is before the wedding & you don't have to go to the stag n doe.. its an extra event... people are cheap & just want free food & free booze

[sparks19]

LOL good lord some of these "accusations" are ridiculous. It is not a "give me money because I can't afford to be married" sort of thing. it is a big party thrown mostly for people that will not be able to attend the wedding.... most of the time no one has bridal showers anymore.... at least people I know of. No one HAS to give money... you don't HAVE to go... you aren't EXPECTED to do anything. They sell tickets to a party.... WOW so unheard of LOL. You go to the party .... the bride and groom RENT a hall, RENT a DJ, and buy booze to be served at the hall. They have games you can play.... you put down .25 cents for a goldfish race.... I hope that doesn't break the bank. You buy raffle tickets for door prizes or a 50/50 draw. For example, I am donating a bottle of Vodka for a door prize at my sisters stag and doe.... all the brides maids and groomsmen are donating door prizes as well as the bride and groom.

I really don't see where this says you can't afford to get married or you need a financial advisor... that seems a little silly to assume that throwing a party where you make back the money you spent on the party and maybe a little extra means THAT. I guess it's just a difference in culture.... this is VERY normal where I come from and is a GREAT time. I'm willing to donate $10 for a great party in celebration of such an event.... especially if I am not going to the wedding.

The wedding is already paid for.... I don't think it is unheard of for a newly wed couple to raise money to help start their new life. No one is expected to do anything or pay anything.... they just DO because they love the bride and groom and like to have a good party.

But again this must just be a big difference in culture.... even though it's just across the border lol. This is a VERY common practice and a lot of time it is expected that you will throw this party.

I think most of the time they still have their individual nights out for a bachelor or bachelorette party.... this is just a party they can throw together with ALL of their friends and family.

Today's youth? LOL... that cracks me up. You see... this is not a "today's youth" type thing.... where I am from this is a tradition and has been for many many many years.... long before I was even born. I guess it's just a different tradition than you are used to and you have a hard time understanding that it is not greed that governs these parties. You certainly would not be obligated to attend.

[king2005]

This is a VERY common practice and a lot of time it is expected that you will throw this party.

When the boys got married they didn't have a Stag n Stag party. A lot of people were mad.. Its going on 7 months & we stil hear about not having one

[Blue_Frog]

Blue Frog, remember that thread you posted before about people not turning up at weddings? I think I now know why. They can't afford to go to a wedding, so they try to kid on they have fled the country.

LOL i think you just solved the Mystery!

It was more of the 'showing up to the reception and not the ceremony' thing, but this whole scenario may require some more thought... good thing I dont have any plans to be married any time soon

Besides, if i did, it would prolly turn into one of those 'ladder to the window and away' kind of weddings anyway!