Stag and Doe's

[Edwina's Secretary]

I once was invited to a wedding. I was asked by another invitee if I would be giving "an envelope." She cleared up my confusion by explaining you should, in addition to a gift, give an envelope with cash to cover the cost of the dinner.

I have never been invited to a party and been asked to pass cash (small unmarked bills perhaps?? plain envelope??) to cover the cost of my entertainment.

I remain shocked....

[Cataholic]

ES- Do I owe you money for the festivities in the summer of '04? I did eat alot.......

[Edwina's Secretary]

ES- Do I owe you money for the festivities in the summer of '04? I did eat alot.......

Did you miss the collection plate by the back gate?

[Cataholic]

Oh, Heck! I thought that was to used as my gas money back home!

[king2005]

LOL

I guess its just something we do up here. You do not HAVE to give money at these functions. I know if I ever get married, I will not need any gifts, as I already own just about everything I need to live in a house (full kitchen, yay me!)... But giving $ would help out a lot... so chances are this tradition started, when people like me were getting married, so they have money parties instead of gift parties...

I hope that made sence lol

[Edwina's Secretary]

I think there needs to be a clear distinction between Fund Raisers, Charity Balls and Celebratory Parties. I am not sure where a Gift Party fits in there.

I read in some advice column about a bride who suggested a minimum dollar value for cash contribution. And one who advised what color the guests should wear.

You are right Cataholic....we must be old....

Let's sit back in our rocking chairs and reminisce about the "good old days" when having a party meant entertaining your guests rather than counting the house.

A fun article about this subject ...Marriage

[Blue_Frog]

Well, heres how the last couple of weddings went --

The last one had a stag-n-doe as one party, and not separate ones. The party was run by some of the friends as a way to help them raise money for the wedding -- this was our way, as their friends, to help them to get married without having to go into debt to do it. I suspect it may also be a way for either/both the bride and groom to avoid going to the 'peelers instead *lol* There was limited funds for both families, and it made it easier on the bride and groom to help out.

The one before that was more of the standard turn of events - 2 bridal showers (one run by friends, and one run by family), a stagette party where everyone went out drinking, and a stag party where who only knows (or really wants to know ) what the guys got up to. Both families covered most of the wedding expenses.

For me, presents are for showers. For the wedding itself, I always bring a card with money in it, generally between 100-150 each for me and my date. Help to cover the expenses and such, but not a present to the wedding. If someone told me that i needed/had to bring both a present and money to the wedding, i'd prolly tell them where to go


edit: the smiley was supposed to be a rolling-eyes face aimed at what boys do at bachelor parties.

[catlover4ever]

My husband's sister and future husband had a "Jack and Jill", sort of like a stag and doe. You had to pay for your ticket ($25.00) each person and the proceeds went to the couple to use as they saw fit.

When I got married I had a "Shower" and my husband had a "Stag".

[Cataholic]

BF- WOW. You are a generous person, truly.

I can't really say that I am familiar with these sort of 'parties'. IMO, at a minimum, they should be encaptioned 'fundraisers'. Truly, though, these people should be rethinking their priorities. Why enter into a 'new' life when they can't afford it? There are lots of things I want, and don't want to go into debt for. New house, new car, pay off my student loans, upgrade my wardrobe, etc. But, I can't afford it. So, I wait. Or, do without. Or, modify.

To me, this is just one of the areas of trouble with today's 'youth'. (I know, I know, I am once again knocking the younger set). The entitlement theory is a tough one to survive on....

[Blue_Frog]

BF- WOW. You are a generous person, truly.

I can't really say that I am familiar with these sort of 'parties'. IMO, at a minimum, they should be encaptioned 'fundraisers'. Truly, though, these people should be rethinking their priorities. Why enter into a 'new' life when they can't afford it? There are lots of things I want, and don't want to go into debt for. New house, new car, pay off my student loans, upgrade my wardrobe, etc. But, I can't afford it. So, I wait. Or, do without. Or, modify.

To me, this is just one of the areas of trouble with today's 'youth'. (I know, I know, I am once again knocking the younger set). The entitlement theory is a tough one to survive on....

Well, the way i always figured it is -- I have a few close friends, and I'd like to see them be happy in their lives. If I can afford to help them out, then i will to the best of my ability, because I care about them and their future. You hopefully only get married once, and its for both of you, but also for your family and friends to help you to celebrate your lives together -- even if they can't necessairly afford everything. Its a way to give the new couple, as well as the attendees some good memories of what is supposed to be a special and memorable event.

I'm not sure if I fall into the 'Today's Youth' set you're talking about -- quite possibly I do, but I have never felt 'entitled' to anything. I work for what I have, and I give what I can to my friends and family. But looking from the reverse thing, I have 2 parents, both very recently retired and not living together, into their pensions ... and I fully expect that I will into the future be having to help support them in some fashion. I may not be explaining what I'm trying to say very well here -- may have to think on it some more.

[Killearn Kitties]

Blue Frog, remember that thread you posted before about people not turning up at weddings? I think I now know why. They can't afford to go to a wedding, so they try to kid on they have fled the country.

[Cataholic]

Blue Frog, remember that thread you posted before about people not turning up at weddings? I think I now know why. They can't afford to go to a wedding, so they try to kid on they have fled the country.

Good point there, KK. For me, I would have to look closely at the pocketbook, and weigh the wedding 'requirements' with the mortgage 'requirements'. Thankfully for the young one, five pets, and this old person- the mortgage wins! BUT, a tastefully respectful gift would be sent. Operative word- gift.

[Blue_Frog]

Blue Frog, remember that thread you posted before about people not turning up at weddings? I think I now know why. They can't afford to go to a wedding, so they try to kid on they have fled the country.

LOL i think you just solved the Mystery!

It was more of the 'showing up to the reception and not the ceremony' thing, but this whole scenario may require some more thought... good thing I dont have any plans to be married any time soon

Besides, if i did, it would prolly turn into one of those 'ladder to the window and away' kind of weddings anyway!

[Mad Mags Moo]

We have Stag and Hen Parties!
Stags are the groom and his mates - they go out get drunk, usually go and get a stripper or 2!! then feel like crap the next day!
Hen parties are for the girlies and usually get all dressed up - L plates on the bride to be! Get drunk, see men strip then go home and party!!
On the Scottish Islands weddings can and do last for at least a week before and after!!!! Scots know how to put on a good do!!!!

[sparks19]

We have Stag and Hen Parties!
Stags are the groom and his mates - they go out get drunk, usually go and get a stripper or 2!! then feel like crap the next day!
Hen parties are for the girlies and usually get all dressed up - L plates on the bride to be! Get drunk, see men strip then go home and party!!
On the Scottish Islands weddings can and do last for at least a week before and after!!!! Scots know how to put on a good do!!!!

L Plates? what's that?

a week before and after what do you do for all that time..... That could end in one mean hangover lol