Raven had another wonderful checkup today. It is really looking more and more thoroughly healed, Dr. Nielson was very happy with it. He wants to see her back in a month now (June 22), to ensure things are still going well. He said he wants to keep seeing her until it looks completely and totally normal. The sutures are mostly dissolved now, can't even really see them.

I spent some of the visit talking about a behavioral issue. She has always been a bit anxious being left but after her last surgery she got drastically worse. She now has severe separation anxiety, she will howl and cry and panic, drool all over herself and try to get out of her crate or the room if I block her in my room. She actually did manage to get out of my room last time I went to get groceries and I could hear her barking and crying when I pulled into the garage.

I explained to him that my comings and goings are low-key, I don't make a fuss when I leave, I don't make a fuss when I get back. I explained how this issue became severe since her last surgery. I had suspected it had a lot to do with my extreme anxiety during the time when her life hung in the balance. He said that week, I brought her in Monday for the consultation and had to leave her, and then Friday brought her in for the surgery and had to leave her. Both times my emotions were very extreme, understandably so, since it was a life and death situation, but she picked up on that, and sensing that and then having me leave traumatized her. I told him since March when I found this I had been in a heightened state of anxiety and I know that she probably picked up on that as well. He seemed very understanding and said that I am probably only just beginning to 'relax' about all of this. After all, he said, he has seen more not make it from malignant oral cancers than ones who do, and he said even his nerves were on edge about it.

I got a month's supply of Clomipramine, a tricyclic anti-anxiety medication for dogs. He says it has been shown to help a lot along with the desensitizing techniques that I am already working on. It's not a permanent thing, just as an aid while I am working on desensitizing. It is not a tranquilizer, must be given every day like a human antidepressant. I'm hoping that will help her. It makes it very difficult for me to get out and do much when I know she is at home panicking and freaking out. She has never been destructive but I will get home and her chest will be covered in drool, she's huffing and her heart racing. Hopefully, we can get her through this and she will be able to relax and enjoy a chew toy or bully stick while I'm away.



Thank you all so much again for all your thoughts and prayers. We love you!