I just don't know what to say. I need to say something, but I can't. I feel numb. I mean she was not "my" dog, she was a rescue, so why is this so hard? Why does it hurt so very much. Why do I feel like I lost my best friend? Why can't I stop crying? My son asked me today is Lady was coming home. I had to hold back the tears as I explained to both my boys that she was in heaven with their grandpa, the other pups we lost, and her other two pups. They seemed to understand, but how can they if I don't? I just am so ANGRY and I don't know why.

I sit here and watch her pups...and I am so happy that they are okay, but sad because she is gone. I look at the bone she loved...Dozer grabbed it today and I almost yelled at him for taking it, then I realized I can't take it away from him because she is gone. She always shared it with him, so it only felt right to let him have it. God, I miss her so.

Thanks for listening. I needed to just let loose. There is more, but I just can't say anything else right now. Thank you for all your support PT.