BIG ((((HUGS)))) to you!! and you're not depressing me, you're telling how you feel and there's nothing wrong with that. If Lady has to go to the bridge, I know with all my heart she will be there waiting for you since you rescued her and gave her so much love and care that she has never had in her life.
Bless your heart for taking her in. You truly are an inspiration and I mean that. I know Lady is very thankful you found her when you did and her puppies, too. I will keep Lady in my prayers. I believe when she kissed you
it was her way of thanking you for giving her the best days of her life and that you did. I really hope she makes it.