Weddings ... a question of protocol?

[Vela]

Well I also have to say if someone WAS invited to the ceremony, and didn't attend, but showed up at the reception, that's rather rude barring anything they really truly couldnt get out of, such as work etc. Not everyone can get out of work but if you really tried and couldn't I could understand that. But if you WERE invited to the ceremony and just didn't go, that is rather rude. It just really depends on how the wedding is set up. Some invite to the whole event, many invite only family/very close friends to the ceremony and everyone else to the reception.

[lizbud]

Was this a wedding of a family member? As a bride I couldn't tell you who was at my ceremony & who wasn't. I was in a complete zombie state.


I think I might pay closer attention if I was just a family member at another's
ceremony.

[Blue_Frog]

Was this a wedding of a family member? As a bride I couldn't tell you who was at my ceremony & who wasn't. I was in a complete zombie state.

I think I might pay closer attention if I was just a family member at another's
ceremony.

LOL no, the wedding was actually the reason i went to San Fran last week (+vacation) - it was a friend i knew from a long while back. It was funny, because i could see all the empty seats there, but when it came to the reception there were tons of different family members that i -know- wheren't at the ceremony. I've been to prolly 3-5 weddings a summer for the last 6 years, and they have all been friends.

I've always gone to both the ceremony and receptions (except one where the ceremony was actually 6 months earlier so they didn't have to live in 'sin', finally told the families they were married, and then there was a reception. Mind you, that was my cousin, and that side of the family is wierd)

[sparks19]

I know my sisters wedding has half of the people invited to the ceremony that there are invited to the reception. And.... if you have very young children it is almost torture for them to have to sit through the ceremony lol so some people might politely decline the ceremony but come to the reception so they do not risk disturbing the ceremony. But I know a LOT of people that had weddings where they only invited some people to the reception. and some people might feel uncomfortable being at a special event like that if they do not know the couple THAT well..... they might feel awkward surrounded by their family and very close friends. BUT.... if you RSVP'd YES that you would attend and then don't show without an explanation.... THAT is rude.

Besides...... the reception is when everyone brings the presents and the money for the bride and groom lol if they want to show up to only the reception to bring me presents.... I'm OK with that lol.

No one was invited to our wedding LOL. it was just the two of us and the JP.

[Glacier]

No one was invited to our wedding LOL. it was just the two of us and the JP.

Did you catch much flack for that? Our wedding was the same way pretty much. My folks, his Dad, us and the JP. Originally, even the parents weren't invited, but Stuart's an only child and very close to his Dad. My sister was mad at me for months! Until I took her three year for a week long vacation!

Where I grew up, it's customary to put an announcement in the paper with the details of the reception/dance and "Friends and family please accept this as your invitation". Formal invitations are sent only for the ceremony.

[DJFyrewolf36]

The place that held our ceremony was one of those drive thru type places in Reno you see on TV lol (odd thing is my parents and some of my best friends were married at the same place years ago, my parents are almost celebrating thier 30th anniversery and my friends are in the 40 year range). I know that if you wanted more than a cirtian number of people at the actual ceremony it cost extra. I know a lot of places (including casinos) that charge extra for attendence when it comes to the ceremony.

I think the reception is where the celebration starts anyhow

[Edwina's Secretary]

I am shocked and appalled by people who are invited to the wedding and the reception and only attend the reception. The ceremony is the REASON for the party...

I'm with Cataholic on this one. If you don't care about the couple enough to witness their marriage....how can you drink their booze?

And Marigold...the Catholic mass hasn't been in Latin since Vatican II...when I was a kid. I traveled to Indiana (from California) this weekend for a wedding. The wedding was Catholic...all in English and we did stand at the invitation of the priest...and sit ...but there wasn't any kneeling (to the great relief of many....)

An empty church on your wedding day...how sad!

[Jessika]

I know for some people they send out separate invitations for the reception and wedding. Sometimes they can't afford a huge ceremony so only close family and friends are invited to the ceremony, but EVERYONE is invited to the reception.

Or as in my case, the chapel was much too far or dangerous of a drive (incliment weather) so it wasn't safe for them to travel to make the ceremony but the reception hall was just right down the street.

[Twisterdog]

Was this a wedding of a family member? As a bride I couldn't tell you who was at my ceremony & who wasn't. I was in a complete zombie state.

LOL ... I agree. I had NO idea who was at my wedding or not. I noticed at the reception to some degree, but afterward I looked at the guest register and said several times, "SHE was there?"

[Marigold2]

As a Lutheran attending a Catholic wedding almost brings me to tears. Stand, sit, kneel, pray, stand, sit, kneel, pray, kneel, sit, stand, kneel. I wish they would make up their minds. I have attended several and I will pay good money to not be bored to tears for an hour listening to a Latin service and sweating. Boring. I would rather sit in a denists chair getting a tooth pulled in that hour, at least I can lay back in the chair and close my eyes. I think only close family and friends attend the wedding now a days and the rest of the people go to the reception. I have a wedding to go to on May 26 my son's best friend from high school and I will come late to the wedding. Last five minutes, sit in the back. It's what works best for me. I do that for all the weddings. The only good part is the last 30 seconds anyway.