I need some advice =/

[Karen]

Make her a list of reasons why she should quit.
She probably knows them all, but tape it to her mirror, or the fridge, somewhere she will see it every day.
Include the fact that the money she spends on cigarettes could be saved for other things.
Include the fact that you love her.
Include that you know quitting will be hard, but that she's strong, and can do it.
Include all the things you want her around for - graduations, weddings, grandchildren, etc.
Include that you and she will have better skin, and better respiratory function.
Include the fact that she will be able to taste and smell thing better than she has in years once she has quit.
Include things that she, as a nurse knows, but may forget - like it's not always lung cancer, but pancreatic cancer that doesn't have the warning cough, and is silently deadly.

Repeat several times that you love her, and will help and promise to be patient with her during the quitting process ...

[Daisy and Delilah]

I hope this doesn't sound crazy but I remember a comment that someone said to me that I couldn't forget.

"Smoking is socially unacceptable"

That may sound dorky but it hit me in a strange way when I heard it. I think it was more of how self conscious I was starting to get when I was lighting up and no one else was. I'm not a social butterfly by any means but that statement just kinda pushed me along

[Freedom]

I don't know if this will apply to your situation or not.

My next door naighbors: mom, dad and 22 year old son are chain smokers. 12 year old son is anti smoking. But every time he comes over, he reeks of cigarette smoke. Enough that it makes me cough. He knos and he feels very self conscious, even when he goes to school. He tries to take his clother out of the dryer, put them on and leave the house, just so he won't carry the smell with him. That is a tough thing for a 12 year old to handle. I just hope he doesn't succumb to second hand smoke and become addicted himself, and start smoking in a few year.

I can't go visit them in their home; the smell is in the fabric of the sofa, the uphostered chairs, the curtains.

The mom and dad did quit about 4 years ago, for almost a full year. Then the grandpa died (mom's father). And they both started up again because being with the family for the wake, funeral, tending to each other and to the new widow, well, ALL that extended family are smokers and it got them both started again.

Quitting is NOT easy. Staying away from it is hard after you quit, too.

[Catlady711]

I'll probably get reamed for this post but it needs to be said.

While I do sympathize with your situation, the fact is as long as you live in your mother's house you're stuck with your situation not getting a bird because of the risk.

You mother is an adult and nurse or not, it's her decision if she wants to smoke or not. As long as it's legal it's her right to do so, and being a nurse she does full well know the risks.

As to how to 'make' her quit, I think that's her decision not yours. While many people here have suggested giving her a 'guilt trip', taping notes around the house, and basically begging her every day, I don't believe any of those are a good idea. Sit down with her just ONCE and explain why you want her to quit, and accept whatever answer she gives you and go on with your life. When you move out of her house you can get a bird and live in a smoke-free home.

Think of it this way...We ALL have our bad habits, whether it's smoking, eating too many candy bars or ice cream, not eating enough fruits/vegetables, or not excersizing enough. How would you feel if everyday someone taped notes up for you, gave you a guilt trip over it, and basically gave you grief everytime you had a candy bar, drank a soda, or sat inside on the sofa on a beautiful summer day?? No one is perfect, but people don't need to be badgered for every thing they do that isn't healthy.

[Cataholic]

Think of it this way...We ALL have our bad habits, whether it's smoking, eating too many candy bars or ice cream, not eating enough fruits/vegetables, or not excersizing enough. How would you feel if everyday someone taped notes up for you, gave you a guilt trip over it, and basically gave you grief everytime you had a candy bar, drank a soda, or sat inside on the sofa on a beautiful summer day?? No one is perfect, but people don't need to be badgered for every thing they do that isn't healthy.

Is there a chance that you smoke? I would presume, from your comments. To equate the eating of too many candy bars, or not getting enough exercise with smoking in the presence of a minor child is outrageous, and socially irresponsible. I can't say I have seen too many studies that support a parent eating too many candy bars somehow causes diabetes in the minor child living in the house.

The only thing that needs to be said is that smoking causes cancer. Second hand smoke causes cancer. Smoking has no redeeming values, sets a horrible example for the minor, and is socially unacceptable. Not to mention horribly expensive, and in this situation, difficult to accept since Bri has posted on here before of money issues.

I can't think of a single reason why someone shouldn't be 'badgered' for smoking (or for eating too many candy bars/not exercising, either).

Bri- smoking isn't more important to your mother than you are. But, the addiction is bigger than you are. There is a difference.

[catland]

I'm worried. You are concerned about the bird's lungs - but what about yours. I used to smoke, and in later years I smoked outside. I think its horribly unfair to expose non-smokers to second hand smoke.

btw - this is a newer attitude - we didn't know about second hand smoke when I was younger and I am guilty of smoking in front of people who didn't want it. I regret that now but this was common at the time. We know better now and it is now no longer good trap other people with your smoke. If you can't get your mother to quit - please plead with her to not smoke in the house with you.

Smoking is an addiction and it can be very difficult to quit. She has to make the decision for herself though.

good luck to you

[Alysser]

Bri, the problem I think is that she is one of those people who thinks smoking helps burn off stress..which isn't at all true. To many smokers it seems like it really does, but truley it isn't help AT ALL. You just add stress to your body and mental health.

I hope your mom will quit soon, as smoking for years can do great harm to your health. I am also lucky that my parents never smoked, something less I have to worry about....

[Lori Jordan]

The only thing that needs to be said is that smoking causes cancer. Second hand smoke causes cancer. Smoking has no redeeming values, sets a horrible example for the minor, and is socially unacceptable. Not to mention horribly expensive, and in this situation, difficult to accept since Bri has posted on here before of money issues.

.

I agree 100% with you,Both my mother and father had smoked.And all us kids ended up smoking,

I have quit as soon as i was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes,The Doctor said to me "Diabetes and Smoking DO NOT MIX"
So that scared me to death!I quit instantly,I have not touched a cigarette since Decemeber.

Sometimes people dont want to be told too quit and it is hard for most it is a discusting habbit,My house smells so much better rather than a ashtray.

I do hope for your sake Roxy that she will quit!Not only for you but for her,I cannot believe how much i can do now,I all around a healthier person,Im back to jogging which i could never do while smoking.

Best of luck!

[Cataholic]

So that scared me to death!I quit instantly,I have not touched a cigarette since Decemeber.

Congrats! You are headed towards a six month anniversary! I hope you treat yourself to something special to celebrate.

Catland- big difference between what you knew then and what you know now. No one knew....and thank you for speaking out against second hand smoke.

You two are proof positive that one can quit.

[Roxyluvsme13]

UPDATE

So, I just talked to my mom. And she said she'd think about quitting when we get our bills straightened out. It's just really stressful for her right now. So, yay! Maybe now I can get a bird.