Thank you again everyone.
I would once again like to thank everyone who took the time to read and respond to my post. I never imagined that there were people out there who would care about my situation even though they have never met myself or Lion. I was especially touched by Slick's and Dukedogsmom's replies, and I am happy (and yet unhappy) to know that I am not alone in having to have made such a hurtful decision. You see, most of the people I am close to do not share my love for animals, and make it all too clear at what is often the worst times. I just wanted to share my story, and I certainly did not want to make anyone else cry, but I admire everyone's sensitivity and strong sense of compassion.
I guess I should explain what caused my baby's demise. On 4/9 Lion started urinating all over the place, but particularly on my bed. By the next day I realized that it was involuntary. I called my vet to see how we could help him, and an appointment was made to bring him in the next day. The vet told me that he had a swollen bladder and needed antibiotics and antiinflammatory meds for what was a urinary tract infection. He took blood for tests and sent us home. 3 days later, the vet's coworker called me to tell me that Lion's blood work came back fine. However, I had to inform her that by this point he did not appear to be passing urine at all. She informed me that this may be a life-threatening situation and that he should be brought in immediately.
To make a long story short, things quickly went from bad to worse. After numerous attempts to unblock his bladder with catheters and flushing, I was told that my Lion would need much more extensive surgery to unblock him. When I came in person to the vet to speak about my options I was told that the surgery would have to be done more than once, and that it is not likely to be successful. I was told that his bladder may already be ruptured, and that he very likely already has kidney damage.
The vet assured me that I had done the best I can, and that euthanasia would be a good option. He told me that without the surgery, Lion would not make it through the night. Without the euthanasia, he would die a very painful death.
So I spent an hour with him, petting and holding him. I could not hold him close the way I wanted to because it was causing him too much pain. So the best I could do was allow him to sit in his cage the way he wanted to, while I layed my head next to him and put my arms around him. While I talked to him, he kept pressing his nose to my face and neck.
So, in the end it was what's known as feline lower urinary tract disease (FLUTD) that parted me from my best friend. Lion just happened to be one of the unfortunate cases that could not be helped.
I guess the reason why this hurts me so much is that Lion was my first and only cat. Because my asthma is so severe at times, and because I don't think I'll ever find another cat like him, I don't think I can get another one. I hope maybe one day I can comfort someone else the way all your kind words have comforted me. This all means more to me than you know.
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