I lost my best friend.

[dukedogsmom]

I'm crying right along with you. There are lots of us that know that horrible pain. Last November, I had to have my dog that I'd had for 13 years, put to sleep because of lung cancer. And he was my furry soulmate. I can tell you it will take a long time before it will quit hurting. I haven't reached that point yet and a part of me never will, I don't think.
Your "Lion" was a cutie. I know how much you miss his presence. My heart breaks for you because I do know that pain. But, this is the last gift of love we can give them. It's so very hard. I'm glad you decided to be there for him. This is the risk we take in loving animals. In time, he may send you signs. I've had a couple from my dog. I hope we can give you some comfort here. I'm glad you came here to tell us about him.

[Lilith Cherry]

Dear Sam, you will always have Lion in your heart where he belongs. I am truly sorry for your loss; I know what a hard decision it is to take but it is the ultimate kindness.. loving thoughts, Lilith

[phesina]

I am so very sorry. What a beautiful sweet Lion.

Hugs,
Pat

[clydesdale]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how your pain as we lost our cat too on the 1 april 2007. I'm crying along with you.

[XoSkittlezXo]

man i am so sorry for you =( that poor cat! the begging was so sad i couldnt read the whole thing i am tearing... was he sick or old age! either way i am extremely sorry for you lost! Its hard its like loosing a daughter/son..

[Babyboonie]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Like most of the responses you've had to your post I too am sitting here in tears.

It is such a difficult decision to make about a pet, but deep down you know you made the right decision even though it may not feel like it at the moment. It will take a while for the sadness and "emptyness" to fade, but you just have to try and remember all those good times with Lion. He sure was a little cutie....just remember how soft his fur was and how pleased he always was to see you. I guarantee that a kitty as cute as Lion is certainly going to have lots of attention at Rainbow Bridge.

Be strong..but if you need us we are here for you.

[Kirsten]

I am so very sorry about your loss. Been there, too, and believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

Coming home is the part I hate the most. I look for him to come running to the door like he usually did, and when he doesn't, I go straight to my room and look for him. I would always find him at the bottom left side of my bed, looking happy to see me. Now when I do, there's just an empty space.

This sounds so familiar to me!! I just couldn't bear the emptiness and the silence after I lost my RB Katz.

sam5263, your Lion sounds like a very special friend; I can see in your picture how beautiful and sweet he was.

You may eventually find some comfort in the thought that he's now painfree. But losing a beloved friend is never fair...

Kirsten

[sam5263]

I would once again like to thank everyone who took the time to read and respond to my post. I never imagined that there were people out there who would care about my situation even though they have never met myself or Lion. I was especially touched by Slick's and Dukedogsmom's replies, and I am happy (and yet unhappy) to know that I am not alone in having to have made such a hurtful decision. You see, most of the people I am close to do not share my love for animals, and make it all too clear at what is often the worst times. I just wanted to share my story, and I certainly did not want to make anyone else cry, but I admire everyone's sensitivity and strong sense of compassion.

I guess I should explain what caused my baby's demise. On 4/9 Lion started urinating all over the place, but particularly on my bed. By the next day I realized that it was involuntary. I called my vet to see how we could help him, and an appointment was made to bring him in the next day. The vet told me that he had a swollen bladder and needed antibiotics and antiinflammatory meds for what was a urinary tract infection. He took blood for tests and sent us home. 3 days later, the vet's coworker called me to tell me that Lion's blood work came back fine. However, I had to inform her that by this point he did not appear to be passing urine at all. She informed me that this may be a life-threatening situation and that he should be brought in immediately.

To make a long story short, things quickly went from bad to worse. After numerous attempts to unblock his bladder with catheters and flushing, I was told that my Lion would need much more extensive surgery to unblock him. When I came in person to the vet to speak about my options I was told that the surgery would have to be done more than once, and that it is not likely to be successful. I was told that his bladder may already be ruptured, and that he very likely already has kidney damage.

The vet assured me that I had done the best I can, and that euthanasia would be a good option. He told me that without the surgery, Lion would not make it through the night. Without the euthanasia, he would die a very painful death.

So I spent an hour with him, petting and holding him. I could not hold him close the way I wanted to because it was causing him too much pain. So the best I could do was allow him to sit in his cage the way he wanted to, while I layed my head next to him and put my arms around him. While I talked to him, he kept pressing his nose to my face and neck.

So, in the end it was what's known as feline lower urinary tract disease (FLUTD) that parted me from my best friend. Lion just happened to be one of the unfortunate cases that could not be helped.

I guess the reason why this hurts me so much is that Lion was my first and only cat. Because my asthma is so severe at times, and because I don't think I'll ever find another cat like him, I don't think I can get another one. I hope maybe one day I can comfort someone else the way all your kind words have comforted me. This all means more to me than you know.