How did you know he was the "one"?

[prechrswife]

My husband and I were friends first. We knew each other for over a year and got along well. We hadn't seen each other for awhile, and then ran into each other, and before that day was over, he had asked me out for the first time. That was on Super Bowl Sunday. By Valentine's Day, we were unofficially engaged. How I knew--he is the kind of person that I can be completely myself with. I am an introvert by nature, and I am completely relaxed with him. We share the same values and have very similar interests and personalities, too.

[Sophist]

With my husband, there was an instant connection--- but not love at first sight. We became instant fast friends, which is very unlike both of us, and we were best friends for some time afterwards without having any sort of romantic or physical relationship (it helped that there is an age gap... I am 25 now, he is 32. Not that bad now, but when I was 14, it would have been a HUGE problem, lol).

When we did date, I eventually refused his marriage proposal (I was very young, had a lot of growing up to do, was frightened, and had huge family troubles to deal with). His mom still hates me for breaking his heart. It wasn't easy at first, but we ended up becoming best friends again for a few years.

We lost touch eventually... for years. Different states, different schools, and he had 'stepped aside' when I was engaged to someone else (called it off soon after, but he assumed for all the years that we were out of touch I was married and lost for good).

Eventually I had an epiphany that yes, most people have 'the one that got away', but I was still using him as the measurement of all other prospective partners, and they always fell short. All other men were put up against the way he'd treated me and related to me, and he left them in the dust, hands down, every time. I'd never stopped thinking about him or having feelings for him, I'd just justified that for a long time by thinking everyone felt that way about their 'first love'.

His phone number was no good any more, his address was no good anymore, all I had was an old hotmail address that I'd last emailed him at about four years before. I took a chance, sent a mail saying, basically "I love you and I am sorry it took so long."

It pretty much floored him, lol, but he felt the same. We managed to arrange a 'first date', and afterwards I proposed. He said yes. And now he's stuck, poor guy.

My family loves making fun of us, saying that for two people who despise romantic movies, we've lived a pretty big chick-flick cliche, lol.