Losing my Dude

[jenluckenbach]

This is so sad. I too wish there was a ay to take away the pain. But Dude is blessed to have YOU.

[AbbyMom]

I'm so sorry. Thank you for giving him the love he deserves and then giving him the final gift.

It's so hard....LES

[slick]

I'm so very sorry Lizzie. This must be so heartbreaking for you. God bless you for taking in this precious baby. He knew love and he will carry that with him to the RB.

{{{hugs}}}

[phesina]

I am so very, very sorry. This is so sad. What a beautiful cat.

You and he have given each other your hearts and all your love, and that will never be lost.

My deepest sympathy.

Love and hugs (very gentle ones for Duke),
Pat

[Lizzie]

Thank you for your responses, everyone, it does help.

I may have to take Dude in to the vet even earlier than I thought. He's not in any apparent pain, he's not hiding, but neither is he eating or wanting to sit with me any more. He's just lying quietly on the bed with his eyes open. As with many cats in this stage of their lives, he seems to be turning inward. Except for the drool and his tongue sticking out a little, he looks totally healthy. He's still a good weight, his coat gleams, and somehow that makes it all harder.

When I brought him home from the vet yesterday, he was still pretty woozy. They'd given the sedative intramuscularly instead of iv so they wouldn't have to hold his head and cause him pain. That made it last longer. But the moment he staggered out of his carrier, he bee-lined to the bowl of dry food and plunged his head right in. As I took it away from him, he reached out a paw and tried hard to snatch it out of my hand. I checked with the vet and was allowed to give him small amounts of wet food, so he kept eating and eating all evening. Then he snuggled on my lap for some time, purring away. That's why I thought he could keep going comfortably for a few weeks.

Before this, whenever he received the pain med. he would want to eat within five minutes, so I don't think it's the medication.

This is one of those awful times when you look in your cat's face and beg "please tell me what is going on, tell me what to do."

[Catty1]

Lizzie - I read your last post here - so you mean, even with the pain med, he doesn't want to eat? Sorry if I missed something here.

Unless the biopsy made his mouth a bit sore...

I am glad he had an evening of eating heartily, and enjoying a purring good snuggle with you! "Thank you, Meowmy..."

[jennielynn1970]

I keep thinking about poor Dude... Isn't there anything they can do for him? Is it the tumor that is causing his pain? It just seems so sudden, I guess I'm hoping that there is something that they can do to prolong his life.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Dude.

[Lizzie]

Lizzie - I read your last post here - so you mean, even with the pain med, he doesn't want to eat? Sorry if I missed something here.

Unless the biopsy made his mouth a bit sore...

I am glad he had an evening of eating heartily, and enjoying a purring good snuggle with you! "Thank you, Meowmy..."

It's rather a catch 22. The pain meds make it possible for him to eat, and that's how they worked for the first few days until Sunday. Monday, he was full of anesthetic sedation and pain med, and was raring to chow down. However, they can also diminish his appetite which is what appears to be happening now. As I type, he just went over to his food plate for the first time today - but then turned away. I'd assume it's because he associates eating with pain, except that he ate yesterday. That's what I mean about wanting to ask him just what is he feeling - woozy, nauseated, starved, in agony, miserable?

They couldn't do a biopsy because the tumor is in his jaw bone and the bone looked so fragile on the x-ray, they were afraid it would shatter.

I want to have a few more days of him eating as he did last night, cuddling on my lap, but I have a dreadful feeling that isn't going to happen. I'm going to have to accept that there is no more time. Dude really doesn't have anything else good to live for.

[pitc9]

I'm so sorry to hear your news.... Dude will love you forever for not letting him pass to the bridge in a cold cage alone.

[Anikaca77]

Poor Dude. My prays are with you and Dude.

[doolittleky]

Lizzie, I am so very sorry to hear about Dude. I know how much he means to you and how hard it is to make that decision. He is a beautiful handsome boy and he was lucky to have you to love him the way he deserved to be loved. I am so sad over this. I will be praying for you both.
Melissa

[jennielynn1970]

Oh Lizzie, I'm so sorry that it has to be that way!

I was caring for a kitty this past summer who had a tumor in his mouth as well. He was one of 12 cats that two little old ladies from NY had moved with them to PA. That in itself was a tragedy in the end, but the kitty, Alexander, was just this poor old soul. He drooled constantly, and I had to add water to the canned food so that it was like soup so he could eat it. He had to be in pain, I don't see how he wasn't, but the old ladies insisted he was fine. He had been all white, but because of the constant drooling, he was all brown/yellow down the front of him, and his skin had become irritated by it, and either the fur came out or he pulled it out. I have no idea which. He looked like hell when he came to me, and looked like hell when I gave him back, although I tried to do whatever I could for him.

He's out of misery now, but he and the 11 other cats died in a fire in the apartment house where the old ladies were living. The one woman died in the fire as well (she refused to leave without the cats), and the other lady died around Christmas, she had extensive burns and was in a coma as well. It was for the best actually, because had she known what had happened to her friend and her cats, she wouldn't have wanted to live.

I pray that you and Dude enjoy your remaining time together. You've given him love and a home and I'm sure he's very appreciative of all you've done for him. Hugs to both of you.

[Lizzie]

I'm scrambling here to make him comfortable. Last night made me feel much better. He climbed into my lap as I sat in bed watching a movie, the first time he's done that since Monday evening, and purred up a storm, lapping up all the stroking and massaging, loving being stroked with grooming wipes. He got down several times to eat a little and cuddled against my legs all night. It felt really good and I stopped thinking about taking him in early. But today, he's gone back to just lying on the bed, mostly with his eyes open so not really resting, and he's eaten nothing. He also hasn't peed since yesterday morning, so that's once in three days. I just called the vet and I'm taking him in for sub-q fluids in a few minutes so that he's more comfortable. I hate bothering him, but he's going to be dehydrated very soon and feel even worse. Hopefully, that and the steroid shot I gave him earlier and the pain meds I can give at 6:30 will give us an evening like yesterday.

[LuckyNumber7]

Jeez, this post just made me cry. All I can say is that it sounds like you've done the most wonderful thing that Dude could have ever asked for. You gave him many months in a warm, loving home with you, and like you said, he will pass away in the arms of someone who loves him, not in a cage. I'm sure that means the world to him. *hugs*

[Lizzie]

Thank you so very much, everyone, for your prayers, good wishes and support. It would have been much harder if I hadn't had PT to turn to when I needed to release my feelings. I am going to post about Dude in the memorial forum later but I can let you know now that Dude, as I had hoped, died peacefully in my arms at home on Friday late afternoon. He gave me the most incredible gift in the hour before he had to leave me. After I gave him his last pain med shot at 4pm, he became a little restless and I decided to try scooping him up very gently and putting him on my lap while I sat at the computer table. I thought he would get down, but for that last hour he sat quietly on my lap, leaning into me and purring softly as I stroked his back. He even gave me a few head bumps, two under the bosom (he always was a ladies' man) and one to my head. The vet who came was the partner who is excellent at these times, very soft-spoken, patient and understanding. While Dude lay in my arms after it was over, he told me that his 15-year-old Sharpei (?sp) had died that Monday. We talked for a while about letting go, trying not to be selfish, facing what we have to do, it was a very supportive talk. I spent five minutes with Dude after the vet left, tucking the lock of hair under his front leg and putting the flowers on him, telling him how much he had meant to me. Then I wrapped him in a small red blanket and took him back to the vet.