The Verdict Is In:

No UTI, No Blockage.

Which was what I feared/suspected/hoped. I don't want Puck to be sick, but it would certainly be easier to fix! My vet said it's definitely a behavioral issue, and told me that Puck is "one pissed off cat," and that is the only way he can tell me. :P

He gave me the number to a pet behaviorist who will make a 1-3 hour house call for a hefty fee. I'm going to keep trying, but if this continues I will have to have him over as an early Christmas present to myself! (After I get my student loans!)

Thank you to lailamara and emily_the_spoiled for the bubblewrap & lemon peel suggestions -- I'm going to go empty out the lemon bin in the fridge! And until I get bubblewrap some aluminum foil probably won't hurt either. (Thanks guys for the crinkled suggestion.)

Oh, our fragile-feeling-felines! What cartwheels we do just to hear that sweet purr beneath their silky fur -- who is sillier? The cat or the catlover? (Bedtime for this student and her kitties...)

Cheers,

--Cat-astrophic >*<