Tomorrow morning is THE court date for my daughter.

[kimlovescats]

Momcat, I appreciate your explanation. I do understand that there have to be rules, but I was so used to all the other court sessions that Amy Beth has been a part of where anyone just walks in and out and there is standing room only. I just felt very embarrassed and humiliated and scolded like a child, when I was already feeling particularly insecure as it was. Oh, it hasn't helped that I have also been MAJORLY PMSing these past few days.

I can't tell you all how very much your posts, prayers, PMs and a recent phone call have meant to me! I don't have any local friends here to talk with... my hubby is my sounding board in all things. Bless his heart!!! Today was very bleak for a long time, but somehow the visit from Amy Beth brought me back up a notch. It's weird I guess, but making me so disgusted helps to replace sorrow with disgust, which is easier to deal with. No doubt, the sorrow always creeps back through, but I try to remind myself how fed up I really am, and how I have the right to be.

THANK YOU ALL!

Love,
Kim

[Karen]

Sending you more big hugs.

For some reason, I just thought of something my friend Margaret once said to me. Her older son, Chris was 27, engaged to be married, employed and living in San Francisco, and she's here in Massachusetts. Chris called to talk, and mentioned he was sick, and Margaret worried, despite herself. She said to me "I know he's a perfectly capable individual, and is just fine, and will be just fine, but I still worry, because I am hi mother. And I know it's ridiculous, but I worry anyway."
"When we were first married, and talked about having children, I was all for it, you know, raising a baby, getting it through the school years, off to college, etc. But I think, in the back of my mind, I figured each kid was about an 18-year commitment. But this week has really brought home to me - I'm gonna be a mother for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter how old they get, or how tall (Margaret is almost 5' 1", so both her sons passed her height-wsie by the time they were in 9th grade)), or how far away they move, I am STILL their mother. I don't know if I would have signed on for the job had I realized that!"

You will always be her mother, and you will always love her and worry about her, even if you don't particularly like her sometimes, but realize that just comes with the territory, sweetie.

[kimlovescats]

Thank you, Karen. That is my hope for Amy Beth, that she too will realize the love that she has deep inside of her for her precious baby girl. That in a few years from now, these times will be a vague memory replaced with years of loving, caring, and nurturing her precious Jenna. That one day she will wonder how she will ever go a day without putting her child first in her heart and mind.

[kimlovescats]

Thank you too, Donna! I think you and I were posting at about the same time! I appreciate your support.

Love,
Kim

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{KIM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


Im so very very sorry that you are feeling so down right now!!!!!
I wish I could give you a real hug!!!
I'm still praying for you, Amy Beth and Jenna.. and *wishing* Chad would go the h*ll on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[moosmom]

Kim,

I've been sitting here for like 10 minutes trying to find the rights words to say. I'm speechless.

You have been through much these past months. You are such a strong person. Someone I admire and highly respect. I only wish I could help take away some of the hurt and anger. You certainly deserve so much better.

Don't ever feel like you are burdening us, because you're not. We are all here for you, anytime. Got that??

Love and Hugs,

Donna