Tomorrow morning is THE court date for my daughter.

[rg_girlca]

I truly appreciate all of the support, words of comfort and prayers from my PT friends, it truly means a lot to me. I'm very sorry for dragging you all through this fiasco for so long. Like I said, I am so ashamed and absolutely devastated right now. I won't trouble you all any more.

Dear Kim, you are NOT dragging us down in any way my dear. You came to your PT friends for support, advice, hugs and whatever else to help you get through this terrible situation. We may not all have the right words to say, but we sure can give prayers and {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
I know right now you are devasted and you have every right to be, but whether you realize this or not, "YOU NEED US RIGHT NOW!!!"
You NEED to get your feelings out. You NEED to vent. You NEED the love and support from your friends.

After ALL that you and your hubby have done for Amy Beth, it still boggles my mind how she just walks all over you guys and doesn't seem to show any appreciation at all. I truely understand that she is your daughter and that you just cannot turn your back on her, but Kim, enough is enough. How much more heartache do you think you can handle. You've been helping her for years now and each time she stabs you in the back. It's time to put your foot down and mean what you say. Like, "I have been humiliated and shamed by my daughter for the LAST time" and "We are "only" paying her $450.00/month rent for the next two months and then the purse strings will be CUT!!!."

I know this is going to be very hard on you Kim, but it is starting to affect your health and remember this, you have a lot of people around you who DO care and LOVE you, so please, take time for yourself and take care.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[kimlovescats]

Amy Beth showed up at my door this afternoon. I sat and listened to all of the details of the day. Her charges for filing the false report were dropped, and her child neglect was re-worded as simple child neglect and she was given 11 months 29 days probation and ordered to take parenting classes.

As for the child custody case on Jenna, Denise was given temporary custody but only until the next appointed court appearance sometime in May. ( I don't remember the date.) During the time until that date, Chad and Amy Beth can neither one take Jenna anywhere and can only have supervised visitation with her. They each are also going to have to pay child support to Denise and take parenting classes for I think 8 weeks and also family and individual counselling. IF they accomplish those tasks by the next court date, then they will most likely get Jenna back. Right now, I find it very hard to believe that they can accomplish all of those things in that amount of time. I am trying to put it out of mind, but I already find myself thinking of advice to give her on what to do first and how and ... and ... and..... !!! It is just so hard to stop THINKING for your child when you have done it for 22 years. I wish so badly that hubby and I could just pack up and move away.

Oh, for those who have (like me) thought that Denise was being so nice to me, well I also found out today that she told Chad that she was only trying to get Jenna, to keep Amy Beth or ME from getting her. WHy? Because we are both crazy! Right now at this very moment, I'm not sure if I will even try to see Jenna for a while. I don't know how much more I can take, how much more personal attack I can withstand. My ex-husband ruined what little self-esteem I had when he drug me through court over our two daughters. He tormented and berated me for years and still hasn't stopped. I cannot throw myself into the fire for persecution any more. I had some very self-destructive thoughts on the way home from that courtroom today. Thank God for my loving husband and my daughter Amanda, who are the two people on this Earth who still make my life feel worth living.

[Catty1]

What a beating you have taken!

If you want custody of Jenna, what sort of case would you have to present? Denise's saying you and Amy Beth are "crazy" is slanderous.

I am glad that Amy Beth and Chad are being forced into counselling. And good for you for staying away from advice giving, though you must have bitten your tongue for a good long while.

I don't imagine those courses will be any picnic. And if her probation is efficient, AB will be accountable for what she says and does.

HUGS, Kim. I hope you can relax for a few days, and let the worst of it wash away.

More prayers going to you...

[jennielynn1970]

My ex-husband ruined what little self-esteem I had when he drug me through court over our two daughters. He tormented and berated me for years and still hasn't stopped. I cannot throw myself into the fire for persecution any more. I had some very self-destructive thoughts on the way home from that courtroom today. Thank God for my loving husband and my daughter Amanda, who are the two people on this Earth who still make my life feel worth living.

I just wanted to give you some "words of wisdom" that someone had passed on to me... I often blamed my ex that I lived with and was verbally and physically abused by for the time I was with him.

I have the following quote posted in many places, and also at work, because even there, there are certain people you work with that just try to bring you down.

Eleanor Roosevelt was an amazing woman, and I love this quote:
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

It's something to remember... You need to believe in yourself. You have to be your own cheerleader, and know that you are a wonderful person and have all the potential in the world. Don't let others make you feel like crap. Know that the ones that do do that, are the ones who feel crappy about themselves to begin with and the old saying "misery loves company." It is so true.

Be good to yourself. Don't be an enabler to your daughter. She's preying on your "motherly instincts", and is using your sentiments for her own well-being without any thought of how she is slowly destroying you. I know it is hard, but you have to look after yourself at this point. She's an adult now, and is responsible for her own actions and cannot be allowed to blame anyone else, or make others feel responsible for her. That is extremely manipulative. Shame on her for doing that to her mother. It also doesn't sound like Denise has the best interests of the child at heart either. Another spiteful person doing something to make others feel inadequate. I'm sure she'll be easy on her son and let him see Jenna when he wants. As horrible as it sounds, a foster placement might be the best thing for Jenna at this point.

[kimlovescats]

Thank you Kim and Lorraine!

Carole, I appreciate your understanding and support!

Jenn, thank you for the reminders ... I am often my own worst enemy!

[ramanth]

Jenn, thank you for the reminders ... I am often my own worst enemy!

Aren't we all?

*HUGS*

[Logan]

Kim, I was checking in to see how you were doing, and I'm glad to see that you are on the right track! Bless your heart. It is so easy to get down and out, especially given all that you have dealt with lately. Plus, if your husband is working when you go to bed at night, I can imagine that your mind races and it is hard to relax at all.

You take care of Kim, Amanda and hubby, and be available and alert to Jenna's needs, when and where you can. I think that is all you can do.

I heard a really great sermon last night at our Lenten service. He spoke on "sin" , but most of all forgiveness. And forgiveness comes in all forms and it is between you and your Lord. He also said, and I agree with this, totally, that forgiving doesn't always mean that everything is mended, just that you have found some peace in your heart and with God, and you are able to move forward. That was a comfort to me. If I can get him to send me a copy of his sermon, I'll send it to you.

Much love to you. May each day get a little better for you. I know that with the love of your husband and daughter, you will get better every day.

[kimlovescats]

Kim, I was checking in to see how you were doing, and I'm glad to see that you are on the right track! Bless your heart. It is so easy to get down and out, especially given all that you have dealt with lately. Plus, if your husband is working when you go to bed at night, I can imagine that your mind races and it is hard to relax at all.

You take care of Kim, Amanda and hubby, and be available and alert to Jenna's needs, when and where you can. I think that is all you can do.

I heard a really great sermon last night at our Lenten service. He spoke on "sin" , but most of all forgiveness. And forgiveness comes in all forms and it is between you and your Lord. He also said, and I agree with this, totally, that forgiving doesn't always mean that everything is mended, just that you have found some peace in your heart and with God, and you are able to move forward. That was a comfort to me. If I can get him to send me a copy of his sermon, I'll send it to you.

Much love to you. May each day get a little better for you. I know that with the love of your husband and daughter, you will get better every day.

Thank you so much, Logan! One thing I really miss is being in a church home. It's just so hard getting back in the routine after being "out of it" for so long. Good news though, hubby is getting to go to DAY SHIFT in about another week and a half! He has been on Night Shift for TWELVE years now! YES, I AM SO EXCITED!!!! Getting into a normal routine will help us get back to church on Sunday too!

HUGS, Logan!
Kim