Today was just so hard. I came home from work as soon as I could. I wrapped Alex up and sat outside with him because it was so sunny and warm. We rocked on the porch swing, and he just closed his eyes and relaxed. He seemed so at peace and happy like that. I held him there for 2hrs. I came inside once it got cool and we rested on the sofa together. Even driving to the vet was peaceful.

Once we got there it was a little more tense. I think he could smell that we were someplace that wasn't a good thing. I was sitting there crying off and on. Our appt. was for 7pm, but the vet was running late, and we didn't get in to a room until almost 8pm. He was having small seizures (I thought he had been but wasn't certain), and he got really upset when the vet injected the first medicine. I was so upset seeing him upset. I was kneeling down, blowing in his face, and telling him I loved him. He just looked so scared. I felt like I was betraying him. Letting go of him and he was alone. My heart is breaking. I hope he forgives me for letting him go and giving up. I just couldn't handle seeing him in pain and suffering. If I could have held him forever, until he was ready to go, I would have.

I'm so sorry Alex. I love you. I hope you are feeling better now, and are playing with the other kitties from the shelter who crossed before you. I miss you terribly. I will be with you again my brave boy. I love you sweetie. Play hard at the bridge honey till I see you again.