Alex is gone, and my heart is breaking

[jennielynn1970]

Well, I took Alex to a very well respected vet today that is at a "referral" center. From 8pm to 8am it's an ER and during the day it's a referral center. They cost a fortune, but have specialists there who are wonderful. He had some great insight about Alex, although I was hoping for something a little positive, but didn't get that at all.

What Dr. Ron concluded is that Alex has a tumor that started in his sinuses and has started eating away (his words) into his brain. He showed me how if it would be a brain injury from a fall, since the bump is on the right side of his head, his motor skills would be affected on the left side of the body. Unfortunately, his right side is majorly affected. He picked up Alex, and holding him in front of the exam table, moved him toward it. Now, the legs on the left side lifted up slightly. The right side, not at all. They just basically stayed limp. He said that the circling counterclockwise is another symptom of the damage to that side as well.

He doesn't recommend chemo, radiation or even surgery. He said that the chemo and radiation for the brain tumor wouldn't help his quality of life, and that if he tried to remove the tumor, Alex more than likely, wouldn't make it off the operating table.

He didn't say whether Alex is in pain. I wonder that. He is comforted when I hold him, and I could do that 24hrs a day if I was able to. Unfortunately, since I work all day, I can't do that. I even emailed some of the volunteers in our shelter to see if anyone was home, like retired, during the day, because he really needs more one on one care. So far, no bites

Alex is still at the vet. Dr. Ron wants to do some xrays and other things just to verify his diagnosis. I didn't want to leave him there overnight, because he's going to be so alone, but I can't be at home tomorrow to take him back to the vet. Darn job! We had off today because of snow, so that was a break for me, and I was glad to be able to stay with Alex. I just wish it would get really bad overnight and we'd have off again, but I'm sure that's not going to happen.

Keep Alex in your thoughts and prayers please. He's a sweet sweet boy who so does not deserve this. I'll figure out how to care for him, even if it means I take him to work with me (the principal can kiss my butt if he doesn't like it). I won't have him suffer and die alone.

Thanks for listening...

[Catty1]

Awww...Jenn...

Please PM Craftlady. I don't know how close you live to her...but her Thumper had an inoperable brain tumour also. Though I have no first-hand experience with it myself, Thumper's tumour is now "mushy"...after a couple of months.

Prayers for Alex...love that boy all you can...

And check with Craftlady....can't hurt. Maybe her Reiki person can do 'long-distance' with Alex, as she has had to do with Thumper because of bad weather.

{{{hugs}}}

[Medusa]

This is just the worst news. I'm so sorry about this. You're so right about not letting him be alone. He needs you. Lots of prayers and healing going out to Alex (and you) tonight.

Blessings,
Mary

[Lizzie]

Oh, Jenn, what heartbreaking news! Tears are pouring down my face and dripping onto Cattulus as I write. Does he also have cataracts or does his blindness have something to do with the tumor also? Perhaps both. The deafness, I assume, has something to do with the cancer? I remember caring for a baby with a head injury (she had been abused) and how distressing it was to hear her constant high pitched crying. At least holding Alex does comfort him and he knows you are there. I hope someone else can help with caring for him. If I lived closer and didn't also have a job, I'd volunteer like a shot. I adore black cats and he looks like such a sweetheart. Cats, as you know, cope with pain better than humans so as long as he is eating and enjoying your company he is still enjoying his life. You must have so wanted to make up to him for what he's been through so far, you are just going to have to squeeze in some extra-special care and adoration into a shorter time than you expected.

Can we send you any little luxuries that he would enjoy? A "Tiger Dreams" blanket? A buttercup bed? Special food? How is his sense of smell?

Keep posting, please, even though it will be hard for you to write and hard for us to read.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Jenn, I'm so sorry to hear this. I sure hope that you'll be able to keep him comfortable and care for him. He'll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

[momtomany]

Jenn
So so sorry and will keep you both in my prayers. I wish I wasn't so far away and could figure out a way to help. Hugs to you both.

[Freedom]

Dear Alex, saying some prayers for you, fella!

[jennielynn1970]

I picked Alex up from the vet tonight. Dr. Ron is recommending euthanizing him. He said because of the quality of life he has (or the lack thereof), he doesn't think keeping Alex alive is helping him at all. He's paralyzed on the right side of his body, partially paralyzed on the left, blind, deaf and has the brain tumor. Sigh.... It's just so sad. This poor boy does not deserve this, but then again, no animal deserves to suffer.

I called the woman who runs our shelter, and she told me she'll leave it up to me to decide when the time is right. I really hate being the one in control of the decision, but I don't want to rush it either. I'm going to spend some quality time with him, and if I see he is suffering or in pain, then I'll make sure he gets to my own vet and he'll cross the bridge then. I just don't think the time is right now, but then, how do you know when the time is right???

[jennielynn1970]

Oh, Jenn, what heartbreaking news! Tears are pouring down my face and dripping onto Cattulus as I write. Does he also have cataracts or does his blindness have something to do with the tumor also? Perhaps both. The deafness, I assume, has something to do with the cancer? I remember caring for a baby with a head injury (she had been abused) and how distressing it was to hear her constant high pitched crying. At least holding Alex does comfort him and he knows you are there. I hope someone else can help with caring for him. If I lived closer and didn't also have a job, I'd volunteer like a shot. I adore black cats and he looks like such a sweetheart. Cats, as you know, cope with pain better than humans so as long as he is eating and enjoying your company he is still enjoying his life. You must have so wanted to make up to him for what he's been through so far, you are just going to have to squeeze in some extra-special care and adoration into a shorter time than you expected.

Can we send you any little luxuries that he would enjoy? A "Tiger Dreams" blanket? A buttercup bed? Special food? How is his sense of smell?

Keep posting, please, even though it will be hard for you to write and hard for us to read.

Alex is a sweetheart, and I too love black cats... his personality was always great, and he just loved attention. He's really not himself at this point, which is sad, because at least now he's in a home. His sense of smell is actually really good, and he still scarfs down his fancy feast. He's lost about a 1lb. since a week and a half ago. Vet said because of the cancer he's not metabolizing properly. He just seems to want to be comfortable, and sleeps in a carrier with a lot of blankets in it. Either that, or he sleeps on me.

[Catty1]

Oh, Jenn...I didn't realize Alex was so far gone...thank goodness he is knowing love from you...

I wish they could use a bit of prednisone to take the swelling down...I wish there was something they could do for this poor boy.

A long shot...talk to Craftlady, and see if her Reiki gal thinks there is any point. Even for pain.

Please hug that beautiful boy for me! and kisses too!

[jenluckenbach]

Jennie, it may sound cliche', but you WILL know when the time is right. I too think I would give him a chance to know love (even if only for a weekend). But if you already think he is "not himself" I would not postpone the inevitable too long. I don't know about you folk, but I truly believe an animal can feel emotional pain (like not knowing why he feels badly, not being able to do what he used to do, etc)

I think I feel the need t go hug a few kitties.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[DrKym]

I am so sorry.

Our thoughts and prayers for you and Alex.

[jennielynn1970]

I truly believe an animal can feel emotional pain (like not knowing why he feels badly, not being able to do what he used to do, etc)

I think I feel the need t go hug a few kitties.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

That's what worries me most. He must be so scared and wondering what is going on. I hate to even leave him alone for any length of time. Frankie seems to be glad that his buddy is back. He came right out of his little sleeping area and rubbed all over him (and Alex fell over). Atleast he can know the comfort of another animal.

[AbbyMom]

I'm so sorry to hear about Alex. But I'm glad that now he has human and cat love to know and soak up while he can.

Give him and hug and a kiss from me. Prayers on the way.

[Catty1]

I would think Frankie would be around him if you have to be out of the house.

I would love for PT prayers to work for Alex.


{{{{hugs}}}}