Let's have fun - Thursdays #201

[animal_rescue]

Umm ok here goes!

Why did the ghost go to the movies by himself?

.....

Because he didn't have no body!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

[gini]

Very good joke! You are now a lifetime member.

And Wombat, I would make it for you, but I don't know what a LOLOLOL is.

Aw look at Slick - curled up over there with Mario - and look, he is going through her purse!

[dukedogsmom]

And now Mario has her lipstick Mario, it's not nice to draw on people's faces like that.

[wombat2u2004]

Very good joke! You are now a lifetime member.

And Wombat, I would make it for you, but I don't know what a LOLOLOL is.

Aw look at Slick - curled up over there with Mario - and look, he is going through her purse!

A joke ??? Awwwww ok then.
An Aussie one.

A Texan was on holidays in Australia, siteseeing from a coach driving through the outback. In his usual loud voice he was commenting on the cattle and sheep that he saw.
"My Garrrrd...they ain't cattle....we got longhorns three times that size, and what ??? You caaaall them sheep ??? We got sheep six times that big."
Just then a kangaroo hopped by the coach, and looking in amazement the Texan said " Whaaaat on earth is thaaaat??"
An Aussie sitting next to him replied " That ??? Don't you know a mouse when you see it ??"

There....can I be a life member now ????
Wombat

[DrKym]

Wombat you already were!!

I would like an Irish coffee to start the day off...............well Jasper is off today so I may not actually start the day. I may stay in jammies and veg with him all day!!!

[Ceph]

mmm, Irish Coffee...that sounds nice...never had one of those before...but I think I would have to go with hot wine ....nothing better for the mornings.

[gini]

Wombat, excellent joke! Lifetime membership it is!!

An Irish coffee for the good Dr. (in jammies) and a hot wine for Ceph.

Now Ceph - did you tell your joke for your membership fee?

Oh, Oh, Slick does have lipstick markings all over her face doesn't she? Let me see if I can gently clean it off before she wakes up.

I am taking breakfast orders - who wants what?

[Ceph]

aw no...mmm...lemme see.....

this one's a little long, but it makes me laugh every time

*A Dog's Diary*

7am - Oh Boy! Breakfast! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! A nap! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! A treat! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dinner! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Grandma! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing with my toy! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Mommy's bed! My favorite!


*A Cat's Diary*

Day 183 of my captivity....My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomrrow I may eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded...must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and commented about what a good little kitty I was.

Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was because of my power of "allergies."

Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously an idiot. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...

[DrKym]

Mmmmmmm Breakfast??? oooooh in my jammies?? Lets see, any chance of eggs? last week Mario stole mine

[CathyBogart]

Chocolate martini please, I'm wiped out!